Scream Until Your Heart Stops
by XbuttonsX
Summary: Was there a sign above his head that said "please ruin me"? He sure as hell felt like there was. Everything he ever cared for was slipping through the cracks and there was no way that he could stop it. All he could do was try.
1. Define Yourself

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

**Chapter One - Define Yourself**

I was wondering whether or not to post this, but, it's my favorite and it's long and so I like it even better. And this is the fic that I wrote the most over the summer. With my favorite quote. Man, what was I thinking?! I love this fic! Hope you do too!

**Summary**- In the middle of a war, Roxas gets tossed into confusion as there are love confessions, loss of friends that mean the world to him, a bipolar mother and a dead father. What more, his only brother gets swallowed up in the lust of war. How can such a life be worth living? How does one mysterious bird keep the brothers together? What happens when the young blonde loses everything?

**Disclaimer - **I would say that pigs would fly before I owned Kingdom Hearts, but that seems so cliché. Let's just stick with the traditional 'I don't own'. But you should know that, shouldn't you?

**Warnings** - BoyxBoy, swearing, violence, death, hinted sex, alcohol, Pedophilia in the last chapters

**Pairings** - Akuroku, Cleon, XemnasCloud (Onesided), XemnasSora (Onesided)

-

"Hey Rox, heard that Cloud joined _The Heartless_!"

The younger blonde turned his face aside, hiding the sting of his elder's words. A muttered name and a whine of pain as the elder blonde was hit over the head by one of his best friends, an artificially slate-haired teen.

"Rox, you know he didn't mean to hurt you."

The blue-eyed boy rolled his oceans, turning the volume up on the stereo, attempting to drown out his friends and his thoughts. So what if it was true that his brother joined _The Heartless_? So what if Cloud was his only brother? Who cared?! Roxas most certainly didn't. He didn't care that he had no say in his brother's action; had no say in how betrayed he felt; could barely halt the cries that wanted to burst from his throat.

"I know. I just ... Let's not talk about it, alright?" He tried his damndest to keep the shake out of his voice. Swallowing the lump in his throat that was threatening to cut his very breath away from him, Roxas stood, stretching in the lazy afternoon heat. "I'm going to get us a snack." he announced to no one in particular.

"Do you need he-"

"No, Dem, that's alright." Shooting the elder blonde a cool look of defiance, Roxas opened the screen door to enter his cooler bedroom. He made his way through his memories and over to the staircase, meeting his mother halfway.

"Do you _want_ to die, boy? Do you _want_ us to all get blown to smithereens?!"

"No, mother," he droned, rolling those orbs of legendary blue once more.

"Then turn that racket down!"

"Yes, mother."

The broken-hearted woman shuffled back down the stairs, her protruding tummy causing her troubles. "Axel, could you turn that down?" Before waiting for the reply from the redhead, Roxas fled down the stairs after his mother, out past her to get to the small, yellow kitchen with the peeling wallpaper and the crisp scent of dish soap constantly lingering in the air. The teen made up quick sandwiches, poured speedy fruit juice and snatched four popsicles, fully intending to 'eat dessert first' as their lives were most definitely uncertain. The blonde had everything on a platter before his meddling mother could saunter her way over to him.

"You aren't planning on eating out there, are you?"

"Yes, mother."

"Idiot child. If you get us blown up, I'll kill you with my bare hands, you hear me?"

"Yes, mother."

"Oh," she wailed, throwing her hands up in the air, tears beading in the corners of her bloodshot eyes. "Why could you not be more like Cloud?!"

The blonde boy was almost thankful when the phone rang, but groaned when he recognized the female voice on the other end. "Roxas? Is he home yet?"

"No, Tifa. I already told you a thousand times. Cloud. Is. Not. Coming. Back."

He slammed the phone back on the receiver. His mother shrieked, slamming her palm against his cheek, knocking him back into the wall. "Idiot child! Idiot boy! You piece of filth! How _dare_ you speak such lies?! Apologize, right this instant!"

Roxas puffed his chest slightly despite the stinging, instinctive tears that bit at the rims of his eyes. "No, mother. I'm not going to apologize for the truth." He received another slap that echoed through the house. Almost wondering when his friends would decide to come running, Roxas straightened himself, not daring to show weakness to his mother, the woman that was supposed to love him unconditionally. Not wanting a third slap on the cheek, Roxas ducked out of her way, snatching the platter and maneuvering out past the raging woman. Just as he had predicted, Demyx, Zexion and Axel were all perched at the foot of the stairs, worry etched on their faces.

"I-I'm fine." Roxas murmured, allowing the tray to be lifted from his hands by the towering redhead. In silence they made their way back to their rooftop. Passing the tray on to Demyx, Axel blocked the younger blonde from his room.

"Rox ... we're worried about you, you know." The redhead hushed once Demyx and Zexion were safely out in the sun.

"I'm fine, Axel. I promise."

"I'm not gonna buy that." He brought his long, slender, spidery fingers up to brush at the angry red mark that adorned the younger's cheek.

"You're going to have to."

Pushing the hand away and ducking under Axel's outstretched, caging arm, Roxas followed his other friends, leaving the redhead to stare after him. He smiled a warm smile at the two out on the shingles, even though it pained him, taking a popsicle for himself, a sign for the others to gorge on their own. The hours wore on, the sun waned and the chill of evening bore down on the four teens. Zexion was the first to stand, the enormous book that had been preoccupying his time closed under his arm. He pulled Demyx to his feet where the boy had been strumming on his guitar which slung neatly over his back. They bade the two remaining good night before heading out. Axel was next.

"Sorry, Rox. I would stay the night if I could. I don't feel like leaving, but you know how my ... Reno is. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him and ..."

"I know, Axe. You don't have to make excuses. Go home. Your brother needs you." Roxas took a deep breath. "Family ... needs to stick together."

"Aww, Rox-as, don't do that to yourself. C'mere." Axel draped his arms around his best friend, holding him close, patting his hair to try to comfort him as the tears that had been pent up all day finally broke through their dams. "You should come home with me." Roxas shook his head, pulling away from the redhead, cheeks a brilliant shade of red from his embarrassment.

"I don't think 'Mother' would approve."

Axel sighed. "Stay safe, Rox. If Reno isn't stoned, I'll come over bright and early tomorrow." A brief nod and Axel took off into the night, dropping from the roof, onto the small dumpster the boys used as a stepping stone when they didn't dare charge through the house. Roxas took a deep, steadying breath as he gathered the platter, stereo and folding chair that Zexion had found more comfortable than the scalding, black tar that the others placed themselves on.

"Stay... safe? Axel, what _is_ safe, anymore?" The blonde asked the night, gazing up at the twinkling stars that shone so far away. How he wished he could float among those stars, careless and joyful, free from the pain, the suffering, the anticipation of some random man on his doorstep telling him his brother was dead. Or worse. He could be Missing in Action. He could be scared, alone, lost somewhere no one would ever find him and that would be how his life would be snuffed out. "Can you see them ... Cloud? Can you see the stars?" A shriek from downstairs broke through his silent world, causing his heart to race and his breath to come in short gasps. Running down the stairs, Roxas reached his sleeping mother, the woman who was emitting the awful howls, thrashing about.

"Cloud! Precious Cloud! And Sora. Dear Sora. My love!" The woman's eyes shot open, unseeing in the dark of night. Roxas didn't bother to be hurt by the fact that his name hadn't been uttered by the frantic woman's lips. "Get away! Get away from me! You'll kill me! Just like you killed my boys!"

"I'm not dead, Mother. I'm still here."

His mother stilled in her sleep as though the voice had subdued her, calmed her, lulled her into a state of security. The blonde left his mother to her nightmares, leaving a gentle kiss upon her forehead to let her know that someone was still there, someone still cared. Turning off all the lights downstairs, Roxas ascended to the second story, a picture hanging on the wall stopping him in his tracks. Whenever he was alone, he would pass this picture and, although it was etched clearly into his memory by now, the eyes still struck out at him.

Roxas, barely old enough to cry, bundled in a blanket of the purest blue, a blue to match his eyes. His mother's eyes. His laughing mother's perfect cerulean blue orbs that shone in the summer sun. His father, holding his mother tightly, his brown eyes matching his chocolaty hair. His brother. Cloud, blonde spikes running amuck, being held up with a tub of hair gel in and of itself. He scowled up at his baby brother as though the newborn was hogging his spotlight.

Roxas stepped farther down the hall, to a more recent family photo. A photo taken a day before his father was killed. The sun, as bright as in the previous. His mother's face was drawn into a scowl and Roxas could still remember the joke his father had attempted to tell to make his wife cheer up. It hadn't worked on her and she threw her blonde curls over her shoulder in a huff. Cloud was twenty-three, his arms draped over his sixteen year old brother, cheek pressed to the side of Roxas' face. The same cheek that was now a bruising red. Roxas reached out his hand, fingers brushing along his brother's face first, then his father's in an attempt to lock the memory away inside his mind for all eternity, never to forget it again.

"Cloud. Dad."

A noise behind him made the blonde jump, a yelp being stifled in his throat as a disheveled blonde woman reached out for him. Her blue oceans seemed to be on the verge of spilling over as she took in her son. "Mom."

"Oh, Roxas. Oh, my darling boy." The woman wrapped her arms around the startled boy that had her eyes. He hesitated slightly before letting his arms sink over her shaking frame, pulling her close and pressing his face into her shoulder.

"Mom. You should be in bed. Look at you. You look terrible."

He couldn't hide the shiver in his voice as he pulled away, eyes boring into the knots of rich wood beneath his feet. His mother took in the red blotch that still marked his face and gasped.

"Oh, Roxas, hunny. Look at you! What happened?!"

"Eh, I-I .. Axel and I were roughhousing. He kinda got my cheek. It doesn't hurt much. Don't worry about it."

"Roxas. I'm your mother. I know when you are lying to me."

"Y-You aren't my mother. You're my mom."

"Still, I know when you're lying to me. It wasn't Axel that did that to you, was it?"

Not looking at the elder blonde, Roxas shook his head softly. "But, don't worry about it. I know it wasn't really you. Please, go to bed. I want you to get some sleep."

"I never get to see you anymore, though, hunny."

"I know. And, believe me, I want to spend every minute I can with you, but I know that you need your sleep. Remember what the doctor said? Taking your medication regularly and getting lots of sleep and you should be all right."

"No. I won't be alright. Why bother to fool ourselves. I-I'm ... I've lost my mind. We both know I can't get it back. Don't we? I still love you though, Roxas. No matter how cruel I am, I still love you."

Trying his hardest to keep the tears from his eyes and failing, Roxas stared defiantly at the woman who had raised him. The one he hardly got to see these days. The one whose mental health was slipping more and more each day. "Tell me you understand, Roxas. Please?"

"Just because I understand doesn't mean I'm going to except it."

"R-Roxas!"

"I'm going to Axel's tomorrow."

"I-I can't let you out of my sight, Roxas! What if you get killed?! We're in the middle of a war, you know!"

"It's safer out there than in here!"

With that, the teen spun on his heel, slamming his door after he entered his room, leaving his mother out in the hall with the million memories.

-

_A Letter From Cloud_

-

I-It's so ... quiet. There are no haunting screams, no gunshots, no death ringing in every decibel. The homeless skulk like rats, eyes empty and sightless to the world. It would be nice if we could just kill them to end their suffering. It's all dust in these broken streets littered with rubble. I still can't believe that humans can cause so much destruction. I myself have taken lives. But, that's what I'm here for, isn't it? I'm here to take out those that threaten justice. But, can _this_ really be justice? So much blood. So much death. So much destruction. We do nothing but snuff out the lives of others.

For what? Has no one thought that the people we kill - murder- might possibly have families of their own? Maybe they have a Roxas back home that looks up to them. Maybe they fight for their stunning mother that looks so proudly at her son as he goes off to war. Maybe they are taking revenge on the people that had their father killed in cold blood when he was just trying to keep his family together during tough times. Maybe they are searching for the glory of serving their country.

I don't care about their pathetic reasons, no matter how honorable they may be. I have my own. And I would die for my motives. I will die like so many nameless men before me. I often wonder ... does anyone remember those they kill? Do the dead despise those that took their life? I remember the look in the eyes of every person that has died by my weapon. They don't haunt me. They just peer at me from the edge of my conscious, begging me to tell them "Why me?"

I never answer.

--

To Be Continued

--

Tell me what you think, alright? No, I did not make a mistake on Sora. It isn't actually in-game Sora. He comes later. And Cloud's _Letter _isn't an actual letter. Just as the other characters' POV's aren't what they are called. Hope you liked it! Stay tuned, kay? This whole fic was inspired by the song Rooftops by The Lost Prophets. Awsome song. I still get all tingly every time I listen to it. Try it out sometime.

When our time is up, when our lives are done, will we say we've had our fun? - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	2. Pity

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

**Chapter 2 - Pity**

-

Waking earlier than he would have cared for from a sleepless night, Roxas took a restless shower, reveling in the feel of the steam evaporating his anger, the boiling droplets scalding away his cares. He still wasn't sure what had made him so quick to lunge out at his mother. She must have said something, some small thing, that set him off. Controlling. She had wanted to control him.

Roxas was a very independent person.

His number one rule was never to let anyone order him around, possess him. He was no object. But, he reasoned, as he scrubbed his skin raw in his frustration, maybe that's what he needed. Someone to take control, show him what he needed, have his back, be there for him. An image of fire-red hair floated into his mind but he shook it away. He craved someone to hold, to hold him, tell him everything would be alright. _"Rox ... we're worried about you, you know."_ Teardrop tattoos below emerald gems. Again, the image was shaken from his view.

"Not gay." He reassured himself under his breath, turning the heat higher. "And, never Axel. Guy's my b-best friend." Faltering at the searing pain from the droplets, Roxas quickly slammed the water off, drying and dressing in record time.

He ran.

The blonde didn't like to go out into the streets, especially not on his own. He had memories of Twilight before the war started. Each time he left the safety of his house, he was reminded of those that were lost. There was nothing he could do to stop it. He couldn't save anyone. Not his neighbors, his friends, his schoolmates. His father. So Roxas ran.

Jumping the rubble left from torn down buildings like a professional, dodging the blank-eyed people that ventured out onto what they used to call paradise, paying respects in silent prayer to the small shrines littered about the town, Roxas ran. Straight to Axel's small apartment in the seemingly better off South End of Twilight Town. He didn't think to get through the route he has taken oh-so-many times, even when the world was what he dreamed.

Knocking on the door, foot tapping to an impatient rhythm, Roxas looked about the street, poised to jet the moment anyone suspicious approached. He didn't trust this part of town. People worse than Reno resided in the alleys, getting their fix. Speaking of the redhead...

"Wha? I was sleepin'."

Reno appeared at the now-open door, rubbing groggy hands over sleep-filled eyes.

"Apparently. What about Axel?"

"Prick is sittin' on the couch, laughin' at me."

"You deserve it."

"It's early!"

"It's ten in the morning!"

"That's not early in your books?"

"Oh, stop your bickering and let Rox-as in, would you?"

Axel appeared behind his slightly younger brother, pulling the boy out of the way to allow the blonde entrance which he took almost reluctantly, pushing his mind away from his earlier, tormented thoughts. Reno sauntered away, down the hall into his room, a loud thud issuing from the spot where his bed most likely was when he threw himself upon it. The elder redhead masked his surprise at finding his best friend on his doorstep by taking said boy by the shoulder and leading him to sit down after making sure that the front door was secure once more.

"Well, Rox-as, what can I do ya for?"

Did he _have_ to ask in such a ... thought provoking way? "I needed to get out of the house and wondered how Reno was last night." Roxas sat in the offered place on the couch, feeling the warmth that had generated from Axel seep through his already overheating body.

"Looks like you ran your way over again. Water?"

"Thank you."

The redhead disappeared for a minute, asking from the small kitchen whether Roxas had had the time to grab something for breakfast. Stomach answering before he could, the blonde blushed. "Uh, no. I, um ... didn't get the chance."

"No problem."

It really wasn't. Axel, a self-proclaimed master chef, threw a couple of waffles in the toaster, gathering the butter and syrup. Southern Twilight Town was barely affected by the war, after all. The redhead leaned against the doorframe, hand on his hip while the other reached to flick a strand of loose hair from his emeralds. "Mother at you already?"

"Eh, no. Me and mom had a ... fight last night." _And you're the only one who can help me through it_, he wanted to add but held his tongue. Axel's normally composed grin fell from his features. He let his hand fall to his side as he rushed over to sit beside the blonde, grabbing a hand in both of his, even if one dwarfed the other so completely.

"Rox? Are you okay? That's horrible."

Roxas turned away, pulling his hand from the other's grasp, his cheeks dusting a light pink. "It ... It was my fault, really."

"What'd you do?"

"I'm not sure. I just kinda ... lost it."

"You didn't do anything that bad, did you?"

"No. Just ... got mad and slammed my door in her face, pretty much."

"Oh, Rox. She'll forgive you. She always does."

"No. She'll forget. She probably doesn't even remember it. She doesn't know it's me when I'm there. You know that."

Axel gazed at the plush rug beneath his bare feet. The waffles popped but neither teen moved.

"I'm gonna have these, okay, bro?"

Ignoring his brother's request, Axel went against his better judgment to wrap his arm around the shuddering blonde. Roxas barely took notice. He was trying his hardest not to let the tears come again. He hated that he was so weak. He couldn't do anything. His mother was mentally unstable, diagnosed with being bipolar. His father was six feet under and his brother already had a foot in the grave. And he sat there being a weakling, crying into the arms of his best friend.

Said best friend pulled him closer, rubbing his back as he cried into the redhead's shoulder. "You're okay, Rox. Everything'll be alright. I'm here for you. I'm always here for you." He laid a delicate kiss to those blonde spikes that drooped with exhausted sweat. "You're okay." Roxas moved back slightly, gazing up at Axel with overflowing oceans of cerulean that showed the redhead the whole, wide world. Nose dribbling slightly, beads of sweat still lingering on his brow, Roxas gazed up at his best friend and was the idol of his universe.

"I-I'm .. okay."

"Better than okay."

"Am I?"

"You're brilliant."

"Brilliant? I don't see ho-"

"Beautifully brilliant."

Axel took Roxas' cheek in one hand, angling the blonde's face to gaze upon him. His heart beating rapidly in his chest, almost loud enough for the blonde to hear, the redhead closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Roxas sat in confusion. Beautiful? Not something he would describe himself as. But Axel was a whore. Always had been. Would he really ... stoop so low? Trying to cheer up his distraught _best friend_ with a compliment? What did he have planned?

Resolve flooding through his body, Axel leaned closer, slowly, delicately pressing his lips to Roxas'. The blonde, shocked into silent submission, could only gape, wide-eyed and horrified. Slowly, his bearings worked their way back into motion and he struggled, easily freeing himself from the redhead's grasp. "Wh-What the hell was that?!" Axel sat, frozen, all his courage gone as his gaze was thrown, once more, to the ground.

"Rox. Rox, wait ... I can explain."

"Y-You just…took advantage of me! You bastard!"

"No, Rox, it wasn't -"

"Oh, cut the 'Rox' crap. I-I'm going home."

"Roxas, no! Please, wait! I-I'm sorry!"

"Weren't sorry a couple of seconds ago! When I was _weak_!"

The last word was a growl. Roxas was at the door, fumbling with the lock behind his back so he wouldn't have to risk the larger, taller, older, stronger redhead coming up and trying to stop him from behind. But Axel was still planted firmly on the couch, great emeralds shimmering in his denial. The blonde's name was still being issued slowly from the redhead's lips as though it would keep the owner of that name in the room, in the house, in his heart. "Rox...as. Please. D-Don't leave. Please."

Defiantly, Roxas puffed his chest out, finally succeeding in unbolting the lock. His face was drawn up in a ferocious snarl. "You expect me to stay here?"

"Where else will you go?!"

Axel clasped his hands over his mouth, eyes growing wide in shock but it was too late. The sting of his words pierced through Roxas like a knife. The tears ran down his cheeks before he could stop them. "I'll find a place. Anywhere's better than here!"

He was gone, running once more, away from what he had thought to be his 'best friend' but who was nothing more than a lust-filled monster. He ran until he couldn't feel his feet, until his eyes showed nothing but vague blurs. He ran until he reached his end.

-

_A Letter From Cloud_

-

Peripatetic souls, doomed for all eternity. Anyone who has died because of us ... we are all haunted by them. We may deny it, but it's true. I realize that I have stated otherwise, but, really, is that any surprise? I try to be strong. Is it showing? I'm trying to be like dad. It works ... some days. But, others, I can't help but shatter. He was everything. And was ripped from me. From us.

And people still say they are sorry.

That is something I will never understand. Why do they apologize as though they could have prevented his death? If they could, why did they not? If they couldn't, why do they pity us? Pity does nothing. Pity doesn't bring him back. Pity doesn't end the war. Pity doesn't save lives. It just makes everyone around it feel horrid. Pity the orphans in the street who have nothing? It doesn't give them food or a place to live. Pity the people who have lost? It doesn't bring those they loved back. Pity those that have died? They are happier where they are. Hell would be better than this place we call home. Hell, we would know what is coming. Then again, we know what is coming here. Death. To be sent sprawling into the bowels of the underworld. Pity me? It doesn't make any difference in the world. I have still lost. I have still made others lose. I have still been condemned.

Pity? Pity yourself.

--

To Be Continued

--

Anything you are needing cleared up or just wanna talk? Tell me what you think, 'kay? Love to get feedback from you all!

Will we make our mark this time, will we always say we tried? Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	3. Unpredictable

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

**Chapter 3 - Unpredictable**

Hey, faithful readers! I'm sorry this is a day late. I lost track of the days. Stupid school. I'm just a little disappointed. This fic, which I like better than RLD, isn't nearly as popular. It makes me a little sad. Is it just because it isn't sexy enough? Ah well, I'm just here to write for you all. Tell me what you think?

-

"We're supposed to be friends. God damn friends. That's it. Then ... you take advantage of me? Why? Why the hell would you do that?!"

Roxas howled out at the blue sky, kicking the tree he stood beside, yelping at the pain in his toes. He glowered at the large white stone that had been erected for his father's grave, just like all the others that littered the yard of death. Throwing himself to the ground, the blonde pressed his back against the cold, unforgiving stone, tears making their way down his cheeks once more, skirting over the angry bruise with its splotches of sickly green.

"Weak," he growled, slamming his head swiftly against his father's grave. A few minutes passed and Roxas was about to stand, to do more damage to his toes no doubt when a tail of red fell in front of his eyes. "What the-"

"Calm down, little buddy. It's only me," Reno chuckled, his hand falling to the top of Roxas' blonde spikes to hold him on the ground. The blonde squirmed, getting released from the younger boy's pressure. Reno was sprawled over the stone like it was his own to command. Ungratefully, Roxas shoved the redhead from his perch, feeling the need to enforce any remaining respect that there should be for the chocolate-haired hero below them.

"What do you want? Axel send you?"

"Aww, you don't think I would come here out of the goodness of my own heart?"

"You and Axel don't have hearts."

"Oh, Roxas, that's not true. We just ... can't show our feelings. Not the right way, anyway."

"Can't you just leave me alone, Reno?"

"But where is the fun in that?"

"I don't want fun."

Roxas huffed, crossing his arms as he sat back down against the white marble. Reno sighed, moving around to sit with Roxas who scooted away as the redhead sat. "Rox, c'mon little buddy. You can't block _me_ outta your life."

"Oh? I can't?"

"No, you can't. Well, I don't want you to, at least. I'll tell you a few secrets if you promise me you will come back."

"Who ever said I wasn't going back?"

"Well, were you?"

Roxas sighed, hanging his head. "I wasn't planning on it."

"Know you too well, Rox. Knew you would go running off - to your best thinking spot - the second Axel decided to finally make a move."

"You knew he would do that?"

"Well, yeah. He is kinda my brother. He told me he was gonna sometime soon."

"Horny bastard."

"No, Rox, it isn't like that, not this time."

"What's to say that I'm not just one of those little sluts he would have flings with at school?"

"Well, first off, you're a boy?"

"Not funny."

"I know. The truth never is. But, do you not think that maybe this would be different? He had a lot at stake today."

"And he lost it all."

"No, no! You wouldn't, would you?"

Roxas smirked through his shaky voice and the still slipping tears. "I-I'm ... I feel kinda... betrayed." The redhead quirked an eyebrow before wrapping his arm around the older boy's shoulders, pulling him close.

"He didn't mean to, you know. Axel is the King of Stupid Decisions. And bad timing. Horrible timing."

Roxas dared a small laugh. "Unlike you?" Reno smirked.

"Leave me out of this."

There was a long silence, Reno yawning, letting his head fall back, anticipating long minutes of nothing to do but holding on to a boy a little more than a year his senior. Roxas tried his best to keep himself under control. So weak. And picky. Oh-so-picky. His best friend kisses him, he overreacts and storms off. His best friend's little brother holds him and he snuggles into the warmth. But there was a difference between Reno and Axel. An overwhelming difference. Roxas knew Reno loved him. As he knew that the younger redhead loved him as though he were his own brother. And Roxas returned that feeling, knowing that Reno would never leave him, never go off to war, never hurt him. But Axel. Axel was as unpredictable as a wildfire with a personality to match.

Roxas hated anything that was unpredictable but he made an exception for Axel. Axel ... made him feel ... like there were still things out there for them to live for. That one day the smoke would clear and they would be free to go off and explore the vast world. To see just how unpredictable some things could be. Which is why Axel was his best friend, for instilling such hope in him. But now .... What now? Now was thrown out of its orderly state. Because Axel loved him.

"You said you would tell me a _few_ secrets. You only told me one." Roxas piped up, ordering his mind to veer away from his wandering thoughts. Reno chuckled softly before taking a breath, letting it out slowly.

"Hmm. Secrets. Secrets. I had a few of them before."

"Yeah right. That was just a bribe so that I would believe you."

"You want a secret? Something you promise that you won't tell poor Axel?" Roxas tried his best not to shudder at the name.

"Not like I'll have a chance any time soon."

"Now, don't think like that. But, he hasn't kept me off the drugs."

The blonde sat bolt upright, feeling like he gave himself whiplash. He glared heated daggers at the redhead before said teen tapped the top of the blonde's head, a large, beaming smile on his face. "You aren't ... I thought you said you gave them up!"

Reno's eyes went wide. "I-I did. You didn't let me finish." Roxas was hauled back down into the hug. "Axel hasn't kept me off of them. It was you."

"Me? How? I wasn't the one that went home early every night to make sure you weren't passed out in an alley. I haven't kept my eye on you."

"Exactly. When Axel would do all that ... I felt trapped, caged in, like he had no faith in me, which made me want to prove him right and show him I was untrustworthy. But I knew that you would be upset if I kept it up. Knowing someone cared but wouldn't meddle, it helped. A lot. I figured you had my back, so, I got through it. Axel doesn't know yet that I have been drug-free for a month now."

Roxas' expression melted into shock once more. "A month?"

"A month. It isn't really all that much, but it's a start, right?"

"Yeah, an unbelievable start! Reno, that's amazing!"

The redhead blushed, gazing off over the rows of tombstones. A lone raven cawed its dismay into the crisp, noon air, its large black wings sending it soaring into the branches of the tree Roxas had taken his anger out on. The blonde gazed up at its call and felt the endlessly black orbs drill into him, causing him to feel a knot curl in his stomach. The bird gave another call, the eerie voice breaking the silence before it hopped lower, from branch to branch. That knot grew, larger and larger, taking up the blonde's whole being. He gulped.

"That's weird. Never seen one do that before," Reno mused, he too, gazing at the shimmering, almost navy-blue scavenger. "The poor thing ... it looks hungry."

A screech this time, loud and piercing, causing a shiver to run through the boys. Fluttering its massive wings, the raven glided down to the grass, a stone's throw away from the two.

"What're you doing?! Get out of here, bird! Scram!"

Another earsplitting scream. A hop closer. Roxas gasped, pressing his back closer to his father's stone for protection. Reno, being of a bigger build than the blonde shifted onto his knees, spreading his arms wide in an attempt to intimidate the beast. It protested with a cry, spreading its own wings, shocking Reno by the shear size of the thing. Feathers stretched wide, its wingspan was the same as the span between Reno's arms.

"Huge friggin' bird," the redhead hissed in disbelief. Those endless wormholes bore into him, freezing him to the spot. The raven opened its beak, exposing its black little tongue. Its massive head swiveled in challenge. Reno stumbled in fright, falling back down beside a cowering Roxas. Taking this as a sign of its victory, the monstrous bird folded its wings with a squawk. It hopped forward once more, endless orbs still digging into the shaking blonde. Dipping its head down, it hopped forward once more, almost to the point where it was touching Roxas' worn out sneaker.

"W-What's it doing?"

A sudden sense of security flushed over the blonde and he stopped shaking. "I-I feel like it wants to tell me something."

"It's a bird."

"So?"

"And I'm the one that did crack. I swear your brain is more fried than mine."

"Shut up a minute, would you?"

The blonde drew his foot in, causing an angry yelp from the raven. Roxas winced but didn't replace his foot. Instead he slowly reached out his hand, fingers held loosely, as though he were sending them out for a tentative dog to sniff at. Almost as though that thought exactly had been running through its mind, the raven righted itself, giving off an indignant crack. It shook the feathers of its head, spreading those massive wings once more, this time using them to get its large torso up off the ground. It flapped a few times, screaming all the while, before taking off into the baby blue sky.

"That ... was really weird."

"Weird's an understatement there, Rox."

"Fine, what the hell was that all about?"

"That's more like it. Oh god, don't tell me it's coming back!" Reno yelped, spying the black speck that had appeared from the spot that the raven had last been seen.

"N-No. It looks like ... a feather."

Slowly, the shimmering navy plumage sifted to the grass at Roxas' feet. Even more slowly did the blonde reach forward, driven by some internal impulse. His fingers made contact with the soft feather and he was awaiting the cataclysmic explosion, the pulling of his stomach as he was transported back in time, the spark of some sort of other magic. But there was nothing. Just the feather, sitting innocently in the emerald grass.

"I-I think we should get back now."

"Uh yeah. Won't Axel be worried about you?"

"I think he's more worried about you right now."

Roxas scoffed, picking the feather up before getting to his feet. "I have to get home. Mother is probably expecting her lunch. Lazy woman. Can't even look after herself. How does she expect to cope with a baby?"

"That's where you come in, Rox. Maybe you can run away with the thing. We'd take care of you."

The blonde smiled. "You know, that almost sounds like a good idea."

"So, you aren't coming with me?"

"M-Maybe ... I'll try to work up my courage and go over tomorrow."

"He knows where you live, Rox."

"I won't open the door."

"He'll climb into your room when you're sleeping."

"Okay, no, that's just creepy."

"That's just Axel."

"Good point."

Reno smirked happily, content to have won the argument before taking Roxas into his arms in a tight hug. "Promise me you'll come by? He really loves you, you know?"

A sigh and Roxas nodded slowly. "I'll see what I can do. Besides, this day couldn't get any weirder, could it?"

"Never say that!" Reno had a look of mocked shock. "You know things get even screwier when you do!"

"Whatever. It's impossible today. What could be weirder than a giant crow wanting to be your friend?"

"Jeez, now I know why you hang out with my brother. You call that wanting to be your friend?"

"Seems like I've been having trouble picking 'em lately."

Roxas laughed, trying to prove that he could handle himself. He left Reno at the stark-white gate, the redhead waving to him until they disappeared from each other's range of vision. Taking a deep breath, Roxas started running again, this time towards home. Who knew what the future held for him? Destiny is always unpredictable, after all.

-

_A Letter From Cloud_

-

The most peculiar sight met me today. A raven, the size of a Beagle, gaping at me from behind a corpse. The corpse was a soldier that I had just killed. I hadn't felt any regret until this moment. This ... bird made me feel the pain I was causing. Its black, beady eyes burrowing into my own ice-blue. It spread its wings wide, crying out with such a sorrow-filled song, my gun faltered. I didn't even realize I still had it raised until it dropped to my side. This bird .... What was it? I could almost see the tears in its eyes as it cried. What struck me most bizarre was that a single feather was missing from its wing. The raven screeched at me and I knew it would give away my position.

I knew that if it didn't die, I would.

I raised my gun once more and felt my blood run cold, a sense of almost ... peace seeping in to take place of all thebloodlust, fear, loss, and regret. I couldn't do it. I could kill any man put in front of me but a bird - this single, crying, mourning bird, shimmering navy, black, green in the sunlight - had me frozen solid. I could barely keep my weapon on it for longer than ten seconds.

"What do you want?!"

I can't believe I screamed. If this beast didn't kill me, I would draw the attention to myself. "You damned bird! What do you want?!" It took flight. It soared straight for me, appearing to be aiming at my heart before shifting course at the last moment, its razor-sharp beak grazing my cheek, followed by the talons that I never knew a raven to have. They were just scavengers. Mistaken identity? I couldn't tell. Hell, I couldn't move. The pressure from the wind threw me back, sprawling on the ground. Giving out another loud scream, it flew into the air and out of sight. A single feather floated down from the heavens, landing on my chest.

"Cloud? Are you okay? C'mon, we've gotta go. If I heard you, the enemy did too. Who were you talking to?"

I didn't listen to the concerned brunette as he lifted me to my feet. The feather was clenched in my shaking fingers, a single drop of blood slipping down my grimy cheek to land on the glittering surface, staining it a deep crimson.

--

To Be Continued

--

What do you think? Please, don't be that confused by the raven. I like it. It'll keep showing up, too, just so you're warned. It has a very important part. :D Review if you will, dear readers!

Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out, standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out, This is all we've got now - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	4. Racing Through Shadows

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

-sigh- Thanks to and His Last Walk for being my two -sniffles- faithful reviewers. Don't mind me, I'm just in a mood of desperation.

**Chapter 4 - Racing Through Shadows**

**-**

Tomorrow came and passed by the blonde. He couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to face the redhead. He knew that those few seconds had changed his life irreversibly. For the better or worse was still a mystery. Staring at his ceiling as though it would give him every answer he craved, Roxas closed his eyes firmly, opening them only when he thought the solution was written in plain lettering in front of his face.

So fast. Everything had crumbled so fast. But that seemed to be a common factor for dear Roxas. His father, stolen from him in an instant. His best friend, confusing him beyond any comprehension in mere seconds. His brother, potentially being lost in the chaos. Could things not just slow for a minute? Could the world not take a break and just let him catch his breath? He was tired of chasing after all the answers, all the ghosts. The past still haunted him. Why could he not just take the day and rid everything from his mind?

And so he did.

Leaving only three times in the whole day to go to the bathroom, not even venturing downstairs to eat. He remembered all the good times, when he had a family. Back at school, where people were what they wanted to be. Before the war. Before the death. Before the kiss.

What was it about Axel that had him so riled? The bird completely banished from his mind, Roxas concentrated on the one with the tear-drop tattoos. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that it had been a long time Axel had held back, keeping his true feelings locked away, if only just under the surface. Ever since the two had met, Axel was more of a friend to Roxas than anyone. They knew each other inside out. Axel would treat Roxas differently as well. More humble, controlled, always trying his best to stay off of the blonde's frayed nerves. Always would he bend over backwards to make sure that Roxas was pleased.

And maybe ... Roxas always made sure Axel was happy too. Maybe. He knew that Axel was more to him than anything else could ever amount to. Axel was special. Always there, always caring. Always everything Roxas needed.

"Until yesterday."

_What's one screw-up? _a voice reasoned back. _Doesn't he still care? Don't you still need him?_

Roxas pondered his subconscious, unaware he had spoken out to himself in the late-afternoon haze. Eyes drifting shut, Roxas fell into a doze. His eyelids fluttered in dream. Memories flooded his mind, voices sounding in his ears, faces blurred as they rushed passed him. He felt trapped, alone, lost in his own world of nothingness. Only one face shone out against all the others. Trying to speak the figure's name, Roxas was horrified to find no words escaped him.

"Something you want to say, Rox-as?" The figure moved closer, emerald orbs outshining even his vibrant red hair. Long, slender body sifting easily through the smoky illusions, Axel approached, sly smirk spread across his lips as though he knew all the secrets in the world. "I can see it in your eyes. Such beautiful eyes."

Roxas stiffened, mouth still trying desperately to form words. Spidery fingers danced up his arm as their owner drew still closer. Up to his cheek they swayed, thumb rubbing gently, slowly, carefully against his discolored skin. Sparkling jewels clashed in the semi-light of the bizarre dream world. The blonde found his heart racing, his breath coming in swift gasps as he was lost in the haze. "A-Axel." The first and only word his malfunctioning brain could formulate.

"That it, Rox-as? You sure you won't come back to me? You aren't scared of me, are you?"

There was a strong scent of mockery lacing Axel's tone. The blonde flinched, finally finding the strength to tear his gaze away from his best friend. "A-Axel." Why was there a clump of rolling fire in his abdomen? Why was he shaking? Why could he not keep himself under control?

"I'm sorry, you know. I don't know what I would do if you hated me. Can you really be friends with someone for so long and then just turn around and _hate_ them? Rox-as. Can you?"

"A-Axel."

The smooth, composed smirk of the redhead faltered, slipping away into the shadows as his eyes hardened. "You can't answer me. Even in your dreams. You better figure yourself out soon. Are you truly willing to let any opportunities slip by you? I could be dead before you get the chance to work up the nerve. I could die tomorrow and you would never have known what it was like. What I was like. You would never know how much you love me."

"A-Axel."

"Don't disappoint, Rox-as. I've hung myself on the line. It's your turn now. Got it memorized?"

Axel gave Roxas a cold, hard stare for what seemed like an eternity. He felt his stomach collide with his ribs as it rolled with the ravage butterflies that fluttered, their wings threatening to break free from their cage. "Axel." Why could he say no more? He wanted to, craved it! He had to tell Axel that he was sorry for overreacting, that he was childish, that everything was his fault... that he ... loved him. At least liked him a bit more than anybody else in his life. "Axel, I..."

"Shh." Axel leaned in closer, the ghost of his breath dusting Roxas' slightly parted lips. "Save it for when I can actually hear you." The redhead pulled back, his fingers leaving a trail of fire on the blonde's cheek. Roxas whimpered slightly, even more confused now than before.

"Axel, wait! Please!" But the redhead ignored his pleads, a soft smile creeping onto his slightly cocked face. He disappeared in the swirling haze, leaving Roxas alone, heart racing, breathing erratic, mind racing. "Axel."

The name repeated itself in the hollows until Roxas awoke, the sun just creeping up into the early morning clouds. Brow dripping in sweat, the blonde gripped the sheets beneath him, his breath still in bursts and his heart still threatening to pound through his chest. Roxas closed his eyes in his attempt at calming himself; the dream, clear as crystal, ricocheting around his consciousness.

"Dear God, Axel. You're a pain even in my dreams."

Slowly he slung his feet over the edge of the mattress, having to steady himself before getting up. He was so dizzy and weak, he could barely stand. "Idiot," he hissed, sauntering first to the bathroom, groaning at his disheveled appearance before wobbling his way down the stairs, gripping the walls for support. Stomach growling in protest, the blonde stopped for only a second to check in on his softly snoring mother on the couch. Sitting at the kitchen table, he hung his head, feeling the waves of sickness rolling over him. He clumsily held his spoon poised over his cereal, taking a mouthful and chewing.

Feeling a little better with something solid in his stomach after a day of starving himself, Roxas made his way back up to his room, glancing at the clock as he went. Seven thirty. Still too early to... to what? Was he really going to go see Axel? Didn't he have to? After a dream like that... He groaned, deciding to take a nice, warm shower to get his mind off of his problems.

Roxas actually enjoyed showers. Besides for their hygienic quality, they were an amazing place to rid yourself of problems. Feeling the overheated water sliding over your skin, taking away the grime, the woes, the pain. Showers were wonderful. Axel -Roxas cringed internally under the steaming flow of water - always used to tease him about taking so many showers. Said one of these days Roxas was just going to burn his skin off.

The blonde shuddered.

He didn't want to die. Especially not like that. And he didn't care for thinking about Axel. Not right now. Not in the shower, for goodness sake. Naked, mind wandering and thinking about someone that loved you that you might - stress the _might_ there - love back was not the best combination of things to do in the shower.

Roxas shook his head, ridding himself of his current train of thought. The next image to shift into his mind's eye was that of the beady-eyed monster that had terrorized him at the graveyard. He was almost startled by the beast, completely forgetting about it after all of the thinking his mind had done the day prior. The scream still bounced around his head, as if it were just feet from him instead of days.

Getting annoyed at all of his crumbling thoughts, the blonde shoved his fist onto the nozzle, shutting the water that pelted down on him off. He had only managed to waste three quarters of an hour. Angrily wrapping a towel around his narrow hips, Roxas shook his head, this time ridding himself of the beading water that was already dripping from his hair. Opting to ignore his blurred reflection in the steamed window, the blonde crossed the hall, eyes downcast, staring at the floor. There was no rush as he pulled on clean, fresh clothes.

He caught his reflection in his small mirror that hung just above his dresser. The large bruise had begun to grow slightly smaller. But with its smaller size, the worse the color became. Green and purple mixed, causing him to shudder in mild disgust. "Still love me, Axel?"

"Course he does."

Roxas stiffened, eyes growing wide in shock and confusion, his heart slamming against its barrier once more. He turned, hand instantly going down to his waist, quickly finishing the job of hooking the button and zippering the fly of his jeans. Glaring, he watched as the invader shoved the door open, large, all-knowing grin plastered on his lips. Roxas shuddered with the resemblance of the redhead in his dream.

"Reno, what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

"Comin' to see why my little buddy didn't come yesterday like he promised," Reno answered easily, flopping down onto Roxas' unmade bed, unknowingly right on top of the blonde's laid-out shirt. Roxas faced the mirror once more, attempting to calm himself, both from anger and horror.

"You can't just barge in! How long were you out there?"

"A few minutes," Reno shrugged. "Don't worry, I didn't watch you getting dressed. I'm not that big of a pervert. Besides, you aren't exactly my type."

"I never knew you had a _type_."

"Incest is a little too far for me to go. Anyone else is fair game."

Roxas scoffed, shaking his head, his voice a hush as he shoved Reno to get at his shirt, "Whore." Reno smirked.

"Just the way I am, lil' Buddy."

The blonde rolled his eyes. "So, why are you here?"

"I told you already. Making sure you don't skip out on your promise."

"I was just getting ready to leave."

"I can tell. Why don't you finish and we'll go together."

Roxas sighed, knowing there was no way around it; he would have to face Axel. Soon. He ran his fingers through his hair, shaking the strands so that the last droplets of water would fling straight in Reno's face. The redhead wrinkled his nose. "Thanks. Much appreciated."

"My pleasure."

"Gonna tell your mom?"

"Nah. She doesn't care."

Reno nodded slowly, his legs being pushed over the edge of the bed to set his feet on the ground. He opened the door for Roxas, the two standing to take in a breath of fresh-morning air. A soft rustling behind them made both teens turn. Roxas groaned. "Go bug someone else, would you?" he hissed at the monstrous raven that ruffled its feathers, spreading its wings wide to stretch them. The blonde noticed that a single feather was missing from each of those massive wings.

"C'mon. Let's just ignore it. Maybe it'll leave us alone. I'll race ya', alright? How's that sound?"

It took a moment, but Roxas nodded, snapping out of some daze that had washed over him. Before he turned away from the bird, it opened its beak, an almost jeering smile appearing there. Roxas started, startled by this almost human expression. Reno grabbed his wrist and pulled him around, forcing him to jump from the roof, leaving the bird, head still cocked to the side, ghoulish smirk plastered on its beak.

"Keep up now, Rox!"

The redhead took off at a sprint, leaving the blonde behind in his dust. Roxas forced his body into movement. "Prick," Roxas hissed. Reno had broken speed records back at school on the track team. He had been famous for his speed and his running style. But that didn't stop him from challenging the blonde to a friendly race any chance he could. He was gone and out of sight before Roxas had made it fifteen paces.

That loud thunder swept over him, the chorus of strong wings giving flight. The raven soared down towards Roxas, rolling through the air above him, croaking happily all the while like flying was the one joy in life. The two chased Reno that way until the blonde was only two turns until he reached the house of the redheads. The bird let out a loud, warning scream before reeling around in the air in front of Roxas. Startled, the blonde stumbled to a clumsy halt as the bird blocked his way.

"What the hell wa-"

Roxas stopped himself as a heavily bearded man sauntered out of an alley a few feet away where the raven had let out its distress call. Stumbling with stiff limbs, the stranger exposed his crooked teeth in a grimace-like smirk, edging his way to the scared blonde that had stopped like a deer in headlights. Giving out a loud screech, the raven landed, bristling its neck feathers, making it appear larger as it faced the grimy man.

"Ain't yous a sight, pretty boy. Bet yous has some cash. Hand'er over."

Roxas stepped back, horror rolling over him. This was why he hated this part of town. He could see the man's dilated pupils and the white powder that had sifted into his mustache. He could also see him reaching into his pocket, drawing a glinting blade from its stenchydepths.

"G-get away from me. I don't have anything. I swear." Roxas took another step back, trying his hardest to distance himself from this maniac. He knew he could easily outrun him if he had to but he was still paralyzed with the fear and shock. The raven gave a warning squawk, ruffling its feathers once more, spreading its wings in defiance, eyeing the silver blade with apprehension.

"Well, if ya' dun gots no munny, yous can still pay me. Gots a fine body. I gots a good 'magination. Yous could look like a chick when I'm fuckin' ya. Damn fine chick. Dun sees much o' them round here. All just crackwhores. Fat-ass crackwhores. Yous a crackwhore?"

Roxas gazed at the swaying man with disgusted shock. "Leave me alone, you perverted creep!" The man sauntered forward still, taking no notice of the hissing bird that he was approaching. Seeing that its scare tactics were worthless, the raven beat its wings, taking off. "_NO!_ NO! God damn it! Come back!" Roxas screeched as the last thing standing between him and the doped up rapist disappeared above the rooftops. "Come back!" His voice was almost a sob, breaking on the effort of trying to speak.

"Shu' up, twerp. Yous be quiet. Dun wan' Tony to take ya from meh. Shu' it, yous."

The man lunged at the howling blonde, but missed his target. Roxas just barely dodged the blade as it came slicing at him. The blonde found himself on the opposite side of his attacker. Closer to Axel. Closer to safety. Breaking off in a run, Roxas bolted. Only to find his leg caught in the attacker's surprisingly strong grasp. Falling to the ground, Roxas yelped, trying his damndest to get his ankle out of those dirty fingers. But to no avail. "Get off me!" Roxas cried, kicking and scratching the ground, pulling himself against the dirt.

"Get the hell away from him!"

All Roxas could see from the end of the street was a flash of red, followed by another. "Roxas!" Axel. The blonde couldn't move anymore. He was shaking too badly. The man that held so firmly onto him took no notice of the approaching redheads. An earsplitting screech echoed from the top of the buildings and the raven crashed itself into the man, causing him to yelp, releasing Roxas and twisting so he had his back to the ground to try and find his attacker. Axel and Reno reached the shell-shocked blonde, yanking him to his feet and beginning to pull him farther from the threat.

"Ge' way! Ge'off! Ge'off!" the man howled at the creature that was just a mass of screeching black above him. Roxas, barely able to stand, saw the flecks of red that were beginning to drip into the light, sandy gravel and blending in on the midnight black feathers. A glint of the silver knife was seen through the chaos, causing another loud shriek from the raven.

Fluttering from its prey, the bird cawed defensively, placing itself once more in front of Roxas. Crimson droplets dripped to the ground but the bird paid the pain no mind, opting to fold its wings over its back, give out one last defiant squawk and turn from the writhing man. Gazing up at Roxas as if to make sure that he had not sustained any injury, the raven shook its head like a dog shaking water from its fur. Satisfied that the blonde was safe, it spread its wings once more, pushing itself up from the ground, being lost to the sky.

Leaving the dying man behind, the trio stumbled to the house of the redheads. Safely behind the locked door, Roxas collapsed, sobbing, into Axel's embrace.

_-_

_A Letter From Cloud_

_-_

I haven't seen that bird for days now. I've tried to push it from my mind, almost succeeding, but every time I get close, the feather it left behind grabs my attention or the cut on my cheek burns. So I sit out in the fading daylight, taking in the fresh air that doesn't reek of blood and death.

"Still thinking about that bird?"

I don't turn to the brunette that comes up from behind, laying his hand on my shoulder. "He was the biggest crow I've ever seen."

"Raven."

The first word that I have spoken all day. The man sits beside me, gazing up at the rising moon. He ignored my correction. "Wow, I thought you had forgotten how to talk. Are you okay, Cloud?"

I stare at the shining, gleaming crescent that was making its way up into the sky, pondering his question. Was I? How could anyone be okay? We're right in the middle of a war, killing so many people. "How could anyone be okay?"

"Be a more positive thinker."

I gaze at him, the light glinting off his steely grey-blue orbs. "Explain to me how I am supposed to do that." He sighs.

"I don't know. I'm not one that dwells on the hard times. Think about what the world will be like without all this fighting. Think about how great it will be."

I'm unconvinced. "You really think there will be an end? The world is not right without someone fighting in it."

"Once we take down _The Nobodies_, you'll get to go see your familly again. Won't that be great? You'll get to see Roxas."

"What do you know, Leon? Why do you even think that there will be an end?"

He doesn't answer. In some ways, I'm almost grateful. I don't want to know the truth. I just want to go home. "I feel like I joined the wrong side." I gaze back at the moon, feeling him turn his gaping eyes back to me.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not heartless. I care ... sometimes. I do feel some regret for the people that I've killed. Now I do. But ... I don't feel like I am a ... somebody. Neither are you. We're just ... clones. Just one more soldier, following out our orders. We're nobodies. We don't have names. We are just a statistic."

"I think you _are _a somebody, you know. I bet Roxas does, too. And your friends back home. Surely you are not just something that can be disposed when you have people that care about you."

"What about you, then? Are you a somebody or a nobody?"

He smirked. "Nobody. I was out of town, taking my new motorbike out for a joyride. City gets bombed, all my friends, my family. All gone. Nothing is left. If there is nothing to return to, I would be a nobody, wouldn't I?"

"But, you have someone that cares."

He smiles, eyes wandering back to the cloudless sky. He doesn't speak. Under the pale moonlight, our fingers meet, causing us each to take in a deep breath. Neither of us take our hand away from the other.

Everyone needs someone to care.

--

To Be Continued

--

I like the Cleon. It makes me happy inside. Poor Roxas. Poor, almost raped, abused Roxas. Review, maybe? Cookies to you!

Everybody scream your heart out, all the love I've met, I have no regrets - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	5. Shock

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

Thanks to for sticking with me. C'mon, c'mon, where's the love?

**Chapter 5 - Shock**

**-**

He was alive. He was breathing so he must be alive. Taking in the much-needed gulps of air, Roxas shook, trying to regain his lost composure. What the _hell_ just happened to him? He broke it down, step by painful step.

Running. He remembered running. And the rushing of wings crashing above him, in front of him, all around him. That wasn't what had him so shaken. No, the wings were a comfort. A knife. He remembered now the knife. The glinting, shining, sparkling death that was held so firmly in the hand of ... a man with white powder under his nose, stoned out of comprehension.

He sobbed.

He could have died. He could have been raped and murdered. But he was safe. He was safe in warm, loving arms. Shoving his face deeper into the strong hold, wondering when he would be calm enough to see who was holding him. A voice echoed through the haze of his adrenaline that had yet to dissipate. The owner of said voice was rubbing his back in comforting circular motions.

"Everything's alright, Roxas. You're okay. I've got you. You're safe. Shh, it's alright, babe."

That voice. It succeeded in comforting him. But he didn't move away. He couldn't. He was still in too much shock. Slowly -painfully so- he came to realize there were legs beneath him and he was being rocked, the voice still hushing comforting words.

The haze was lifting. His eyes were swimming in the draining horror, but he could feel. Warmth was flooding in on him from the person that held him close and he snuggled still closer to it. He felt tired. Heat always did that to him. The sobs had stopped and the shaking had lessened considerably. But his body was screaming at him to rest, needing to recuperate after such an ordeal.

"Rox? You with us anymore, bud?"

The voice received its answer when the blonde let his cheek rest against his shoulder.

"Axe, maybe you should just let him rest?"

The addressed redhead gazed up at his little brother, nodding slightly. Attempting to shift so that the blonde in his lap could lie out on the couch, Axel winced when the younger boy stirred after just letting himself fall into oblivion. Cerulean orbs flickered slowly, allowing bleary vision for their owner.

"A-Axel?"

The blonde winced, remembering his dream and the one word he could formulate. Axel seemed to shatter, his face going blank for a moment before he fell onto the boy, gripping him in a tight hug. "Oh, Rox, you're okay."

Reno placed his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Axel. C'mon, let him breathe." The elder did as he was told, moving from the couch altogether, Roxas' abrupt departure the other day flashing through his mind once more. He let his emerald orbs saunter to the floor in shame. "You okay, Rox?"

Opening and closing his eyes to get rid of the blurry, nauseating sensation of passing out, Roxas teetered where he lay, becoming dizzy. Clamping his eyes shut, the blonde groaned. "Been better. I feel kinda like I'm gonna puke." The blonde opened his eyes just in time to watch Axel leave the room. "He okay?"

Reno forced a small smirk, trying his best to keep the worry out of his voice. "He'll be fine. Think how you would be feeling right now if you couldn't do a thing to help your best friend as he is being attacked by a deranged drug dealer. And he had never seen that raven before so he had no clue what it was doing when it killed that guy!"

The blonde took a deep breath, still steadying himself. "So, he's dead?"

"Looked like it. Crow didn't look like it did very well though. Did you see how bad it was bleeding?" Roxas shook his head lightly, his stomach flipping in sorrow. "I'm pretty sure that was the last we'll be seeing of it." Roxas couldn't explain the tears that slipped out between his eyelids. Catching sight of them, Reno kneeled down to Roxas' level, wrapping his arms around the blonde's shoulders, pulling the elder boy close to him. "Shh, Rox. I'm sorry. It'll be alright."

"I-I brought these. ... To settle his stomach?"

Axel reappeared with a handful of soda crackers, his eyes still downcast. "A-Axel." The redhead faltered at the sound of his name. He gave a small, pathetic, forced smile.

"I-It's okay, Rox. Just pretend I'm not here. It'd be better that way. I don't want to be a -"

"Axel, listen to me."

The redhead flinched at the sound of his beloved blonde's hard tone. He finally raised his eyes to meet the blonde's. Another deep intake of breath from Roxas before he spoke. "Axel. Thank you. If you hadn't been there, I would have been done for! I owe you both my life. How'd you know I was in trouble?"

Reno glanced back to his ashen-faced brother. Said brother was shaking, thoughts of the hour prior crashing through his mind. "I was standing outside to wait for you. I hollered in for Axel because I wanted him up for when you came. Then the bird appeared around the corner and we heard you scream. We knew you were in trouble so we came to get you," Reno replied, taking a furtive look at his brother to confirm his story, but was disappointed to see him just standing, shivering like he was surrounded by ice.

"Told you that raven liked me."

Giving a weak laugh, Reno got to his feet. "Yeah. Guess you're something to die for. I'm gonna go make some lunch. You guys hungry?" Both boys shook their head in unison, Axel giving his brother an anxious glance.

"Need help?" He squeaked. The younger sent his brother a glare.

"No. Thanks for the offer. I think you should stay with Roxas, don't you?"

"Eh ...." Axel sighed, lowering his gaze once more, crackers forgotten as he stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. Reno gave him a pat on the shoulder before disappearing to the kitchen. Roxas moved with heavy limbs to sit up on the couch.

"A-Axel."

Faltering once more at the sound of his name coming from those angelic lips, Axel began to shake all over again, having just gotten himself steady. "Axel, please. C'mere. Please?"

"Y-You probably hate me."

"Why would I?"

"Because! I'm such an idiot! I never should have done that! I was so stupid! I was being such a selfish bastard! I could only think about myself!"

"Maybe you're right. Maybe you were being selfish and stupid. Maybe you shouldn't have kissed me. But, you can't go back and erase what you've done!"

"Exactly what I'm saying! And you hate me now because ...." Axel couldn't continue due to the shaking. Roxas tried to push himself up from the couch, but only succeeded in falling to the floor, still too weak and dizzy and in shock to support himself. Instinctively, Axel fell to his knees to help his once-best friend. Roxas gazed up at him, swimming oceans colliding. He felt Axel tense.

"I don't hate you, Axel. I can't hate you. You're my best friend. You're my _best_ friend. And ... I'm pretty sure that you're my boyfriend."

Axel gaped at the blonde that he had managed to catch that was now wrapped in his arms. "B-B-.... Yo- .... Does .... what does that mean?" The redhead managed after a moment of opening his mouth only to close it once more when he found himself unable to speak. Roxas gave him a small smile.

"It means, Axel, that I've been thinking and thinking and thinking. It means that I'm out of my mind. I guess it means ... I love you, too."

"This isn't just the fact that you almost died coming out, is it?"

"Dunno. Maybe. But, you were right. I gotta take risks and do what I think is right while I still can. I coulda died. And that woulda meant that I couldn't have told you."

The blonde shoved his face into the crook of his elder's neck. Axel felt as though he himself were about to pass out as he laid his cheek on those blonde spikes, holding the boy close.

-

_A Letter From Cloud_

-

"C'mon, babe. Time to get up."

My eyes flutter as he presses his lips to mine in an effort to get me up. It works. I groan grumpily, waving him away. Alas, being the persistent creature that he is, Leon places his hands on my slender hips, rolling on top of me, bringing his lips to crash on mine once more. I feign to still be asleep, ignoring the fire that is working its way through my body. It's too early for this. Too early to be up.

"Leon, just let me sleep," I groan against his lips and am shocked when he pulls away.

"You have bad morning breath anyways. Up you get. Sephiroth has something planned for today."

Interest peaked, I prop myself up on my elbows. "What type of something?" I barely am able to keep the excitement out of my voice. Hearing the hint of anticipation, he smirks, pulling out a clean white shirt from his pile.

"You'll just have to wait and find out, now, won't you?"

"No!" I whine, unable to believe the tone myself as it slipped from my lips. "I would need to know ahead of time so that I can prepare myself," I recover, my ocean-blue orbs staying trained on his face. He sees straight through my façade, that smirk never leaving his thin, perfect lips.

"Prepare to be unprepared?" He suggested, sending me a brilliant, cocky smile.

"Ugh, you can be such a jerk."

"Everyone has their moments, babe." I glare at him as he hauls his vest on. Reaching over, I grab his pillow from its spot beside mine.

"Asshole." I throw the supposedly soft object towards my lover, but he ducks away from it.

"Oh, babe, you'll have to try so much harder than that!"

"Wait till I get some clothes on! Then I'll show you!"

"Of course, of course."

I want to wipe that smirk from his pretty little face. He allows me to dress in relative peace, stopping me only once as I tiredly attempted to put my own black shirt on inside out. I grumble my thanks and he places a soft kiss on my lips with a quick "S'what I'm here for, babe." He waits outside our sleeping area as I grab anything I have forgotten. The feather sits in its spot beside my pillow. A quick image of Roxas flits through my mind but I wash it away as soon as it appears.

"So, you said that you had friends, right? What're they like?" Leon inquired as I escaped, hand going up to ruffle my blonde spikes out of their morning flatness. I ponder the question.

"My friends? Tifa … God, I miss Tifa. Some days. Just, not when I'm with you." A half-hearted smile crosses my lips. He sends me a quick, questioning look as we make our way through the camp.

"How do I make up for her?"

I watch my feet shuffling along the ground, a small blush creeping up my neck. "She was your girlfriend." A statement, not a question. He smiles. "And I'm just a replacement."

"Eh, Leon, wait, it's-"

"Alright. It's alright. I wasn't expecting to be first on your mind."

"But you are."

We stop for a moment but I can't look at him. I groan, looking up to the sky. "I know how stupid this sounds but … you're a lot different than her. I … feel a lot more strongly for you than her. It's a different kind of feeling. Even in this hopeless world, you make me feel like life is worth living." I smile. "Although, in a world where you could die at any moment, maybe that isn't the best thing to feel."

"Cloud… "

"Even just hearing you say my name gives me a better feeling in my chest. That means something, doesn't it?"

"It means the world."

Right in the middle of our universe, he kisses me, soft, slow, passionate, telling me that he will be there to save me when I can't save myself.

--

To Be Continued

--

'Nother chapter done. Tell me what you thought?

If it all ends now I'm set. Will we make our mark, this time? Will we always say we tried? ~ _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	6. Betrayal

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

Ah, soon to be my favourite line. I do believe thatis next week. No, the week after. But, soon. -gasp- I'm actually updating on time. Congratulate me. XD

**Chapter 6 - Betrayal **

**-**

"You're sure I'm not just dreaming?"

"One of these times he's going to end up saying that you are."

"Oh, shut up, Reno! I wasn't asking you!" The elder redhead snapped at his younger brother while said younger brother flipped through the channels, stopping on a comedy program. The redhead gazed down with love-filled eyes at the smaller blonde that was entwined in his arms. "You would never pull such a mean trick, would you, Rox-as?" The blonde rolled his eyes.

"I dunno. That's starting to sound like a really nice idea." The redhead gaped at his boyfriend, causing the younger boy to sigh. "I'm only joking, Axel. Don't worry," Roxas smirked, pinching Axel's thigh, hard, causing the elder teen to yelp in pain. "This isn't a dream."

"Okay, okay, I believe you now!"

"How much you wanna bet he'll ask again in the next ten minutes?"

Reno winked at his elders. Of course the youngest had called it correct and after only eight minutes, the question left his lips once more, causing Roxas to sigh heavily. "Axel, why don't you come with me? I'm starting to get hungry now." The elder teen followed curiously as the younger led him to the kitchen.

"You need my help with something?"

"I need you to stop being so disbelieving."

"That's kinda hard, Rox. Having you ... it's kinda like if Demyx ever got an outstanding grade in anything but music. Sorta unbelievable."

"Maybe ... there's something that I could ..."

Roxas let himself trail off as he was caught in Axel's hard gaze. He felt that familiar burn that was associated with his best friend broil his stomach as cerulean met emerald. Without thinking he rose on tiptoe, roping his fingers behind Axel's neck, pulling the face that was connected to it closer to his own. Feeling the distance diminish, Axel just gaped at the blonde. Against his better judgement, Roxas took a deep breath, pressing his lips to Axel's. The redhead, completely dumbfounded, stood in shock for a moment.

This was a child that had, only hours previous, faced a drugged lunatic with a knife that dangled his life in front of his eyes that then wanted to rape him. Then said drugged lunatic was viciously ripped apart by a crow that _obviously_ had rabies. All in front of this child's eyes! And now, the child was kissing his best friend, something that the best friend would never have expected. Could you blame him for his racing heart, hitched breath and slightest ounce of hesitation?

Perhaps the trauma was the reason behind the passion?

Slipping into bliss, the redhead felt his lips moving on their own, perfect sync with the blonde, as though their mouths had been made for each other. Axel felt a single tear roll down over his cheek as some inner being was jumping for joy, apparently taking a lodging directly behind his belly button.

The perfect moment ended as each ran out of breath, Roxas' legs shaking, Axel's body tingling and quivering. The redhead pressed his forehead to that of the blonde, panting lightly. "N-Now I'm really ... dreaming."

Roxas smiled, brilliant orbs half-lidded in his happiness.

The bliss lasted even if the days didn't. Time, when it should have moved at a snail's pace, rushed by the two. The hours turned to days, days changing to weeks. Roxas hadn't seen the bird that saved him in two weeks. Nor had he seen his two best friends. Both Zexion and Demyx seemed far to busy to hang out with the new couple. Finally, the smaller blonde talked the strangers into meeting with Axel and himself, for old time's sake.

Demyx readily agreed, but the slate-haired teen declined, claiming that he had too much paperwork to catch up on. For what, Roxas didn't pry. Instead, he left the offer hanging to the elder teen that the three of them would be spending the day on Roxas' roof. The boy promised he would try to make it, _if_ he happened to finish with what he was working on.

Soon enough, Demyx was sitting with his two friends that he hadn't seen in what felt like forever on the smaller blonde's roof, his legs dangling over the edge as melodies were drifting for the custom blue guitar in his lap.

"He's really sorry that he couldn't come."

"It's okay. I bet he has his reasons."

The elder blonde looked up, eyes open wide at the younger blonde sitting beside him. "That's right! I almost forgot! Zex and I are moving! He's getting all the paperwork done for it today!"

Both the redhead and the smaller blonde gaped at their friend in shock, causing said friend to blush a deep crimson to have eyes gawking at him from both sides. The redhead grabbed both of the younger boy's shoulders. "When are you moving? Where are you going? Are you leaving us? Is it because we haven't kept in touch? Please don't forget about us! Don't go! You can't leave!" Demyx gave a small chuckle at his friend's concern. "What's so funny?! I don't see anything funny at all! Do you Rox?!"

The blonde shook his head, looking worried. Demyx sighed. "We aren't leaving Twilight Town. Don't worry. We're just going to the North end. My mom's been complaining about the distance she has to go to get groceries so Zexion decided that he would surprise her. The three of us are moving next week. And, we'll also be closer to you guys! Isn't that great?! We can spend more time together that way!"

Taking a moment to let the news sink in, Axel shot up, almost losing his footing on the tile, making both blonde's gasp and reach for him before he fell. Recovering from the slip with a giant smile plastered on his face, he cheered: "Demyx, that's amazing! We'll get to hang out together more! The four of us! Just like the old days!"

"Sit down, would you? You're gonna fall and kill yourself, you idiot."

Axel's face fell at his boyfriend's insult, but refused to sit down. Demyx's own face lit up. "Oh, Axel, I almost forgot! I have to talk to you for a minute! Is that okay Roxas? We'll just go into you're room or something."

"Uh, sure, go ahead," Roxas answered, giving the blonde an odd look as he shot up, grabbing Axel's wrist and pulling him toward Roxas' door. A crow squawked above them as they dissappeared.

--

Inside, after making sure he wouldn't be heard, Demyx turned to Axel expectantly, crossing his arms and tapping his foot. Axel raised a crimson eyebrow. "What?"

"Have you told him yet? Please, tell me you have!"

Axel narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Told him what?"

Demyx threw his head back in exasperation, huffing out a sigh. "That you like him, duh!" At this, Axel smirked.

"Oh, erm, yeah. I told him." Axel went on about Roxas being attacked by his mother - who at this point was down stairs, writhing with some unknown nightmare - and had come to seek a friend, about the first kiss, the tantrum, the day of waiting and the attack. He cringed when he brought it up, still seeing the horror, the blood, feeling how close he was to losing his precious Rox-as. Before he could tell the blonde in front of him about the defining moment, the blonde still out on the roof let out a loud scream.

"Guys! Get out here! Now!"

Roxas' screams were almost drowned out as a rumbling blast exploded through their world. Axel was the first to the door that led onto the roof -something that Sora had installed for his son as he knew how he adored to sit on the roof and watch the sun set - flinging it open with surprising force, Demyx right on his heels. He caught the horrified blonde in his arms, shielding him away from the sight ahead of him. Demyx froze before falling to his knees in despair, crying out in his pain.

"Zexion! God, Zexion!"

The ground was shaking, throwing Axel off balance to fall onto his backside, Roxas still being protected in his arms. "My home! My mom! My Zexion!" Demyx whispered, tears falling from his eyes.

Fire, smoke and horror arose from the West.

-

_A Letter From Cloud_

-

"I-I can't. Sir, you've got to be kidding me! I can't just do something like that! I won't kill him!"

"Then, perhaps, Cloud? Would you rather take Leon's place?"

I falter. "I-I…" Would I really be able to do such a thing? "I'd be betraying my morals, sir."

"And if you didn't, it would be a betrayal against me. Would that be something you would risk?"

I contemplate the idea. "Why not kill the man yourself?"

Sephiroth raises an eyebrow in mockery. "And dirty my own hands?"

"Yet you have the nerve to ask someone else for the favor?"

"Cloud," Leon hisses, trying his best to keep his voice low enough not to be overheard even though both of us know that to be impossible. "Stop. If you keep this up, he'll kill you too."

"Correct, Squall." Leon cringes when I glance at him, hearing the name for the first time. "Now, Cloud, if you are sure. But, betrayal is something I obviously don't tolerate in my men. If you refuse, I'll have to have you killed."

"No! I'll do it! God damn it, I'll kill him! Don't hurt Cloud! Please!" Leon cries, trying his best to save me from the superior officer.

The graying commander smirks, his fingers lacing in front of his mouth as he leans forward, elbows being placed firmly on the desk in front of him. His eyes travel over my face, but I hold my ground, despite the fire in my chest as Leon grounds his teeth together after his explosion.

"I think it is proper bullshit, myself. Explain to me again why he has to die?" I barely keep the growl from my voice, my foot edging instinctively in front of Leon to protect him from his fate. Sephiroth kept that snake-like smirk on his thin, thin lips.

"Simple. He has been disloyal to _The Heartless_. Kadaj has been relaying information to _The Nobodies_ for the past month. He came to confess last night. He has been held in confinement ever since. Now, Leon has stepped up and is going to prosecute him as a message to the others."

"But, sir, he is one of our better warriors! Have you asked for his _reasoning_?"

"Of course. Xemnas was threatening his mother and brothers," Sephiroth hisses, voice icy.

I stiffen and feel Leon do the same beside me. "You're going to kill him because he was being blackmailed?"

"His fate has already been decided. You may leave now, Strife. Squall, you must stay here so that you can prepare for the execution."

"Would you _stop_ calling me that?! You don't have any right!"

"Oh, don't I?"

"No! You didn't even care about my family when they died, so, why would you even think you could call me that?!"

"It was my choice, you know. You're mother was still undecided. You've heard the story a thousand times already, _Squall_, so I would suggest you just calm yourself."

He is shaking. I move to reach for his shoulder, but he turns away, ignoring me. "I'll catch up with you later, Cloud." He adds in an afterthought, "I don't want you to watch."

I hear the slight crack in his voice. My mind is filled with questions, but I hold my tongue. I glance back at Sephiroth before exiting. "Why did you want it to be us?"

"My two little black sheep need to be broken. Of course the best fighters come with the worst, defiant personalities."

I storm from the room, heading back to my shared space. Half an hour passes and I hear Sephiroth's voice ring through the camp, chilling me to the bone. He calls his army to witness the execution of the spy, but I stay where I lay, the soft, dark feather running through my fingers. I hear the screams for forgiveness and the shot that silences them. Another half hour passes and Leon saunters in, still shaking. I make room for him and he crawls into my awaiting arms, still shaking.

"I grew up with them, Cloud. Kadaj was my next door neighbor. Sephiroth was his fuckin' _dad_." His eyes are still dry, but I know that the shock will subside soon enough and he will be able to let himself go. Secretly, I am worried for that moment. I've never been one to be able to comfort the grieving, always running from the problems that I would someday have to face.

I place a soft, comforting kiss on his forehead and he presses his face farther into the crook of my neck. "Kadaj never did like fighting. He just wanted to keep his mom and brothers safe."

"If he doesn't like fighting, this is better for him, isn't it?"

He gazes up into my eyes, nodding slightly. "I-I guess." I feel the sorrow that is beginning to leak from him and the panic wells in my chest

Sensing this, even in his distraught state, he sits up, forcing a smile to make sure that I calm myself. He cups my chin in his hand and kisses me. I feel the tears as they begin to slide down his cheeks. His sob is small against my lips. "L-Leon ... are you sure?" I moan as his hands travel down my chest.

"M-maybe ... you can help take...the pain away."

--

To Be Continued

--

-shudder- I still feel sad thinking about poor Kadaj. And, if you were wondering, no, it was never Leon nor Cloud that were set to be executed. Twas always Kadaj. -sadface-

Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out, standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out, standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	7. Respect The Lost

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

I like this chapter. It confuses me, but I like it.

**Chapter 7 - Respect the Lost **

**-**

"Zexion! Why? Why, why, why?! _Zexion_," Demyx screeched, slamming his hands against the roof, shaking in his sorrow at the loss of everything. The only thought that could be formulated in his mind was the fact that he had lost Zexion. The boy was like a brother to him, having lost his parents when he was in middle school to a deadly disease, moving in with the blonde and his mother as he had no relatives that would take him.

Axel and Roxas were immobilized from where they had fallen, the redhead watching the plumes of smoke and shimmering orange-red flames that devoured one of his best friends and his house, holding Roxas' head to his shoulder with his arms wrapped around the boy so that he would not witness the horror. "Zexion ...." he hissed, pulling the boy still closer.

"Demyx? Axel? Roxas?"

Their names were being yelled from the street. Demyx was shocked, unable to move from the feeling, tears still rolling freely from his aqua orbs. Roxas squirmed, slipping from the redhead's grip to peer over the edge of the roof. He spotted a frantic-looking Zexion who was slightly out of breath and already in the process of scaling the wall to get up with his three best friends.

"Oh my god, Zexion! How'd you manage that one? I saw it! The whole thing! The plane and the bombs and ... how'd you get away?!" Roxas helped the slate-haired teen as he clambered onto the roof, being instantly tackled by the two blondes, Demyx having snapped from his inability to move as he saw his best friend appear, Axel just continuing to sit in shock.

"Zexion, oh Zexion! You're okay! You're really okay! Oh, Zexion!" The larger blonde shoved his face into the crook of Zexion's neck, weeping at the fact he was still with them. Roxas went back to curl into Axel, hiding from the flames that reached into the sky on the other side of town. Wrapping his arms around the larger teen, Zexion held Demyx close.

"I-I was already on my way here. Rox... Roxas, you saved our lives." Another explosion rocked the building as the gas station exploded, causing both Zexion and Axel to grip the blonde in their grasp closer, shielding them from the devastating sight. Roxas shook when he felt a breeze pounding down on him until he heard an insulted squawk.

He shook his head in disbelief, refusing to acknowledge the sound or feeling. Too much. Too much was happening too fast. Zexion was safe, wrapped in his best friend's embrace. West Twilight was in an inferno, going to ruin. He himself was wrapped in the arms of his love.

The bird was _not_ flying above him; the bird was dead after saving his life. So, how could a dead bird be protesting to him? Easy, he was still in shock. Then how could he explain the peck at his shirt? Horny Axel, of course. But, why would Axel be oh-so-heartless? He wouldn't be. Tentatively, Roxas opened his eyes. Only to be face to face with the large black raven. He let out a little squeal, diving back into Axel's chest.

"Hey, shoo, would you?! What is with you?! You're a really weird crow." Axel warned, swiping his hand at the bird, causing it to retaliate and nip at his fingers. "Gah, crazy shithead!"

Roxas risked a peek at the persistently croaking raven. It was no longer a perfectly black navy blue. A large patch of white on its chest now clashed angrily with the majestic color, complimenting it in an odd way. Upon closer inspection, the white feathers were a bandage that wound around to its wings.

"It's actually the same one."

"Rox-as? What the heck is wrong with that thing?" Axel hissed, pulling his boyfriend closer, farther from the scavenger that only hopped forward once more to close the gap with an almost-grumble of annoyance. Zexion was still consulting a sobbing Demyx as he himself let a few stray tears find their way down his cheeks. They weren't paying any attention. "Fuckin' indestructible bird."

"Be nice. He could kill you too."

The warning kept the redhead quiet, but the raven shook its feathers in a way that reminded Roxas of a dog shaking the water from its fur - like it had just before disappearing - almost as though he were denying what the blonde accused. As if to prove it, the raven hopped closer, right onto Axel's leg, its wing brushing his forearm that wrapped protectively around his blonde.

"That bird ..." Roxas whispered, gazing at it freely now, his hand outstretched to rub at the soft feathers coating its head. "Every time I see it, it reminds me of Cloud."

Axel gained a puzzled expression. "How? This thing - Oww! Would you cut it out?!" Axel yowled when the raven pecked at his arm. "Fine, this _bird_ is the complete opposite of Cloud!"

"Not personality wise!" Roxas sighed in a heated staring contest with the black, endless wormholes. "I just ... think of Cloud whenever it's around."

"I think you're still in a bit of shock, Rox. How can this th-bird make you think of your brother?"

Roxas shrugged. "I dunno, it just does, okay?"

"Fine, whatever." Axel looked away pointedly, watching the last of a large, old mansion burn to the ground. The mansion was the next building over from Demyx's house. The elder blonde whimpered when the resounding echo of the fire blared from the falling timber.

"My house. Our house." he whined, sobbing hard. Roxas paid no attention, forcing himself to stay transfixed on the bird so as to not have to face the reality.

"I think I'll call him Cloud."

"You're naming it? Part of our town just blew up and you're naming a bird?"

Roxas paid him no mind, letting the newly named Cloud rub happily against his hand. Satisfied with his visit, however, he gave a soft croak, spread his wings and propelled himself up into the air. He did a small circle, making sure that everyone was as well as they could be under the circumstances before streaking towards the burning, blazing chaos.

-

_A Letter From Cloud_

-

"Cloud, I know you probably don't feel the same, since you have a girlfriend and all, but ..."

I gaze at the man walking beside me, reaching down to give his hand a gentle squeeze as others rush around us, supposedly paying us no mind as they went about their last minute chores. I give him a small smile. "We'll talk this over when we get there, okay?" He nods, but winces when he notices the slight limp he had implanted into my step.

"I-I'm sorry, Cloud."

"It was my idea. Don't worry about it."

"But -"

"But nothing. I'm not made of glass. I won't break. I'm not as fragile as you think I am."

"I-I'm sor-"

"And stop apologizing, would you?"

"Uh... yeah."

I open the door to Sephiroth's office, ordering Leon to wait outside which he did reluctantly. The grey-haired superior had a smirk waiting on his lips as I closed the door behind myself. "You weren't at the execution earlier. Why?"

"I didn't feel like it."

"It was mandatory."

"I would rather not watch you sneer at your own son when he is getting murdered by one of his neighbors, thank you."

My words send a chill through the elder man, his white-blue eyes narrowing, causing me to smirk. "How much has Squall told you?"

I shrug. "Enough, I suppose."

He fights with his anger, beating it down with a couple steadying breaths. "Fine. It does not matter. You and Squall will still be going to investigate, I presume?"

"If you don't mind, _sir_."

"Get rid of that tone, Strife. Give me your respect."

"When you earn it."

"Out. I do not wish to speak with you any longer."

"We'll be back tomorrow at the earliest."

"Just get out of my sight."

Doing as he orders, I escape to my brunette. "That went better than expected."

"We'll be going then?"

"With an excuse to be gone for days."

I give him a playful wink. A blush creeps up his neck and over his cheeks. "Did he say how we'd be going?"

"Nope. But, I'm thinking I'm up for a nice bike drive through this _lovely _scenery." I start off toward the vehicle department, adding in an undertone. "I'll drive."

It takes us ten minutes to find any sort of civilization. He gazes up at me with his large, blue orbs, fingers tracing the outline of the cold steel in his lap. "How'd you know that I'd not want to drive?"

I smirk, turning the key of the beastly machine at the end of the nearest driveway, taking the offered gun in my hand. "Just kinda figured. I mean, you _did _tell me that everyone died while you were out on your bike, so why would you not be afraid of losing more if you drove again."

"You're good."

"I was right then?" He nods. "Kay, one sec. I'll be right back."

"No, I'm coming with you."

He's by my side before I can protest, that smirk resting on his lips. I sigh but notice someone lying out on the front deck of the house we were approaching. "Hey!" I call, but the person doesn't look up. "Hey, you!" Again, the person takes no notice. I growl in malice but move closer to the stranger. Their legs are bent at the knee, feet planted on the stained wood of the deck, toes tapping to some unheard noise. It is a woman, shielding her closed eyes from the sun with her hand. Wires are headed up from her other hand that lays on her stomach to hide beneath her hair.

"She can't even hear us. Amazing."

"That's her problem."

I step up one large step to be on the same level as the woman, pointing my gun down to her face before nudging her ribs with the toe of my boot. She screamed once she opened her eyes, ripping the buds from her ears. "Wh-What do you want?" she stammered. Now that she had released the music, I can hear the faint rhythm of drums.

"We're here to ask you a few questions, ma'am." Leon pipes up, drawing her attention to his calming smile.

"Wh-what type of questions?"

"Do you know a man named Xemnas?"

My gun is still pointed firmly in her face. I can see the sweat that is beading on her brow. I don't blame her for being scared. I know that if I were to just be minding my own business out on my deck - if I had one - and two men with guns appeared out of no where, I would barely be able to formulate a single word. I pull the barrel farther from her so as to instill a calm that may give us the answers we seek.

"N-No. Never heard of anyone with that type of name."

"Really now? We heard that he had been an honorable judge before the beginning of the war."

The fear was draining from her, being replaced by a smug confidence. "I'm sorry, sirs, but, living out here does have its disadvantages. We don't get much news from Hollow Bastion. But, we also don't have to worry - much - about the war. You two would know more than I would."

"C'mon Cloud. Let's try somewhere else. She obviously doesn't know anything."

I was shaking. But not from the building rage. Eyes were on me. Black, beady little eyes. "It's you again, you God damn bastard!" I ignore the startled two and begin to raise my gun at the bird that was sitting on the rail of the deck. A strong sense of déjà vu washes over me as I have to lower the barrel once more. "What do you want this time?! I didn't kill anybody!"

It squawks in mocking, moving closer on the wood. An almost smile breaks across its beak. "S-Stop it. Please." I can't believe the whine in my voice. But I can't help it. Images flash through my mind at a single glance from those mocking eyes. "Wh-what do you want with me? Get lost." It spreads its wings, hissing a warning as I begin to reach my hand out.

Transfixed, I don't notice Leon behind me until he grips my shoulder. "C'mon, Cloud. Maybe someone else will know more." I shake my head. The woman behind us scampers up and slams her front door as she escapes inside.

"No. We should ... We should just leave."

"Because of the crow?"

"Raven. But, yeah. I-I don't think I'd be able to ... I don't want to go any farther."

He puts his arm around me, feeling and hearing the sorrow that lines my voice as I tremble. The raven moves closer still, its wings back beside its body. It moves against my fingers and I feel the white bandages.

Closing my eyes, I hear Roxas sobbing after falling from his bike. Dad goes to his rescue and he gains a bandaged knee, much like the one adorning the bird. Another memory, another time, another guilt. I was supposed to be watching him. Roxas disappears into the kitchen and begins pulling at the tablecloth. Atop the table is a vase of carnations, mother's favorite.

"No!" I cry out, causing the brunette to grip me tighter. I refuse to think of that. I know it was my fault. It's my fault that he now has a large scar on his chest from where a shard of glass cut through his shirt. I never forgave myself for that. Tears are leaking from my eyes.

"It's okay, Cloud. It's gonna be okay. C'mon. Let's go." We hobble back to the motorcycle, the raven giving one last sorrowful cry before taking flight. Leon sets me down where he had sat not five minutes ago. "Do you want to head back to camp?" I shake my head.

"I want ... to go back to those trees. Remember, the patch of woods we passed? I want to go there." He nods and within minutes of rocketing across pavement and trekking in a little ways, we find ourselves in a spacious clearing.

"How'd you know this was here?"

"I-I didn't. I just ... had this feeling."

The bird is waiting for us, but I ignore it.

"You feeling any better?"

Ten minutes had passed and I was curled against the brunette, my hand and cheek resting on his chest.

"A bit. It's that damned bird."

He chuckled, causing my head to shudder. "I can tell that much. What happens when it comes around?"

As though it knew we were talking about it, -which I wouldn't doubt from that bastard - it cocked its head to the side on the other end of the clearing. "It ... he always reminds me of ... Roxas. If I even think of the bastard, Roxas pops to the front of my mind."

"Then, why don't we name it Roxas? Since it already reminds you of him."

I gaze up at him. "Why the hell would I want to name that thing?"

He shrugs. "I dunno. But _I_ like it."

"I-I do too, it's just that ... when I think Roxas, I think my puny, little brother."

"Which is what you think when you see Mister Raven."

"I guess I see your point."

"I'm glad. So, he's now called Roxas?"

A sigh. "Fine." I turn to glare at those black, beady eyes to find them closer. A chill rocks through my body as a memory flashes by my eyes. Roxas, the day I left him alone with my mother to come fight this pointless war. He refused to let me know he was crying. He wouldn't come see me off, staying up in his room the whole day. Finally, when I had my bags packed and was heading out the door, he grabbed me around the waist, shoving his face into my chest, crying until he hiccupped "Don't leave me. Don't leave me."

"Hmm? I wasn't planning on it, babe."

"Wh-What?"

"You don't want me to leave. At least, that's what you just said." He wipes away the tears that were falling once more.

"O-Oh. I was just ... thinking ... about my brother."

"You'll see him again soon."

"I hope so."

"C'mere. Let me take the pain away."

--

To Be Continued

--

Leon and Cloud are so horny. XD It makes me happy inside. The inspiration for the whole standing-over-chick-with-pointed-gun was me doing the same on my front porch and the paranoia surrounding me. XD Hope you liked this chapter!

This is all we've got now, everybody scream your heart out, standing on the rooftops - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	8. Alone

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

Ah, my favourite line that I still repeat in class at random times. -swoon-

**Chapter 8 - Alone**

**-**

"Wh-why don't we all go in?"

Roxas hauled himself up to his feet, giving Axel a hand as Zexion pulled Demyx up as well. The elder blonde was still shaking, but the whimpers and whines had stopped. Zexion supported him as though he had just broken his ankle as they shambled to the open door, true victims of war.

Once they were closed off from the world, not even the sounds of the roaring inferno able to reach their ears, the boys each took a spot on the edge of the blonde's double mattress, staring at the floor in silence. Roxas was the first to break it.

"Why don't you both spend the night here? Axel, you too."

"Oh, Roxas, what about my mom? She's probably so worried right now! Wait, what if she was home?!"

"She wasn't, Dem. Don't worry. She was still out shopping."

Zexion put an arm around the blonde who nuzzled next to him once more. As if on cue, a knock sounded on the front door and the four boys could hear Roxas' mother grumble as she shuffled from the couch after having been awoken from her slumber by the catastrophe on the other side of town. "Yeah, what do you want? Boys? If you mean Roxas, he's probably out somewhere. Asshole never tells me where he's going. What's wrong with you? You look like you've just run a marathon."

Roxas shot off the bed before the person downstairs could get frightened away. He made it to the bottom of the stairs before his eyes watered up as he recognized the woman looking panicked, disheveled, worried, anxious, out of breath and a bit pitiful as she gazed at the pregnant woman in front of her.

"Demyx! Zexion! C'mere!"

Footfalls could be heard dashing out of the blonde's upstairs bedroom, Demyx flinging himself around the corner. Zexion was behind him, barely able to hold back the hope. Axel was a little slower, getting to the top of the stairs as both Zexion and Demyx had flung themselves on the woman in the doorway, Roxas having talked his mother out of the way and back to sitting on the couch. The redhead came to the foot of the stairs, putting his arm around Roxas' shoulders, pulling him close.

"Any other day, y'know. Any other day and we would've lost all of them."

"But we didn't. So ..." Roxas stepped forward, forcing the redhead to come with him. "I want all four of you to spend the night."

The blonde woman held her children close, tears streaming down her cheeks but her eyes staring straight at Roxas. "Oh, Roxas, honey, we couldn't intrude."

"No! I want you to! Please! It would mean so much to me! We have a couple of extra bedrooms! You can stay here for as long as you like! It would be amazing to have a full house again, anyways!"

"Are you sure your mom wouldn't mind?"

Roxas cringed at the simple question. "Who knows? Maybe the company will make her better?"

"Oh, Roxas, how could we ever repay you?!"

The blonde beamed. "You don't need to! I would do anything for you guys!"

Demyx had newly formed tears rolling down to his chin and Zexion was grinning happily, their mother looking like she was going to begin crying again. "Wh-Why don't I make supper for us? All six of us."

"You don't know how great it would be to have a home-cooked meal again!"

"You got it, Sweetie. Why don't you talk your mother into coming out to sit with me? I bet she's been awfully lonely!"

"Sure thing."

Roxas started to head off to his mother before Axel gripped his arm. "I'mma call Reno, kay? Tell him I won't be home tonight." The blonde nodded and Axel excused himself from the trio. He quickly dialed his number.

"Hey Re?" The redhead picked up on the third ring.

_"Axe, oh god! It's good to hear that voice of yours!"_

"Re, I won't be home until sometime tomorrow, kay?"

_"Aww!" _A sigh. _"I suppose. Just go easy on the kid, kay?"_

"What the hell, man?!"

"_Whoa! Calm down. I was joking. No need to yell."_

_"_I didn't find much funny about it."

_"You must have missed the joke. I just assumed that you and Roxas would be -"_

"We're not, Reno." An unseen glare. "He doesn't want to be alone tonight. Especially not after that."

_"Yeah, yeah. fine. You and Rox have a good time."_

"C'mon, man, don't sound so put out. Demyx and Zexion are gonna be here too."

_"So I wasn't invited to the party?"_

"Now, why would we want you crashing it?" A regretted chuckle. "Sorry, Re. How 'bout I make it up to ya?"

_"How?"_

The elder redhead didn't like the tone of his brother. It sounded so put out and pathetic. "Well, what do you want?"

_"You to come home."_

"What? Why? Are you feeling alright, Re?"

_"I'm fine, I guess. Bye Axel."_

"Wait, Reno! Re, wait. What's wrong?"

_"Maybe I don't want to be alone tonight, either."_

The line went dead.

Axel felt a chill run up his spine as he felt eyes on him. "Everything alright?" The redhead turned to face the stoic slate-haired teen, forcing a smile.

"Uh, yeah. Why would something not be? Everything's fine. Thanks anyways, Zexion."

"That is the tone of the guilty. Is your brother alright?"

Sighing, the redhead ran long fingers through vibrant spikes. "It's nothing."

"You mentioned our staying, did you not?"

"That was kinda the reason I called him, wasn't it?"

"And he is upset that his only brother won't be home to protect him."

Glaring at the phone he had just replaced, Axel gave a low growl. "You make me sound like a bad brother. It's not like I could have invited him here!"

"But you could not have gone home to him?"

"Rox-as asked me to stay here."

"So, your boyfriend is more important than your last remaining family member?"

"Rox-as asked me to stay here," Axel repeated.

"Even though he has his friends and Reno has no one?"

"What are you playing at, Zexion?"

"I am just attempting to make it clear to you that you are better off going home to your brother."

The redhead contemplated this statement for a moment, about to reach his hand out for the phone to tell Reno that he would be home in ten minutes when his little blonde appeared in the doorway behind Zexion. He had a bright smile lighting his features, but it faded when he felt the tension between his elders.

"Is everything alright?"

"Would everyone stop asking me that?" Axel snapped before looking apologetically at the offended blonde. "I-I'm sorry. Everything's fine." The redhead forced his award-winning smirk as he took a defiant step away from the phone, shaking slightly as Reno's words and Zexion's warning echoed in his mind.

The group joked and laughed, trying to find the silver lining until well into the morning. Demyx's mother had talked Roxas' into going up and sleeping in her own room while the eldest blonde slept in Cloud's deserted bed. The four boys, not even saying a word to the others, piled onto Roxas' bed, laying widthwise with their feet hanging off over the edge. They would all feel safer huddled together, no matter what any of them would admit to.

At 3:27 in the morning, a severe sense of déjà vu spread over them as the ground shook and the roar of fire could be heard. Roxas shoved his face further into his redhead's neck as the elder teen shifted to go look out the window.

"Don't look. There's nothing we can do so just don't look. Pretend this isn't happening again."

"What if -"

"Don't look."

Axel was shaking when he leaned back down at the blonde's warning. _What if it was Reno?_ Axel finished for himself. A tear rolled down his cheek at the possibility.

-

_A Letter From Cloud_

-

Family. It is the most important thing to hold on to and the hardest to let go. Being away from them? Torture. I haven't heard from my little brother in eight months, my father in more. Ugh, every time I think of my father, I can't get passed how he was taken. In the streets, fending for us. But, you already know that, don't you? I'm sure even you have heard about how Sora Strife had his life stolen from him.

We were running low on bread and milk - ever since I have eaten neither item. He volunteered to go buy it, stating that the streets were a dangerous place for children. He still thought of me as a little child, even though I was twenty three. I wasn't baby Roxas. I told him, almost _begged_ him to let me go instead, just for an excuse to get out of the house, perhaps I'd see Tifa again. I hadn't seen her for a month, after all. He refused.

And I refused to obey him. I followed, just out of sight. I watched it all. He was a hero in his own right. A homeless man - one already affected by the war, no doubt - was being hassled by a soldier. This soldier slammed the butt of his gun into the man's chest just as my dad came upon the scene. Dad intervened. I still remember that soldier. I've looked for him all this time. Grey hair and golden eyes. More heavily built than Sephiroth, but not by much.

He turned and shot my dad in the leg.

I had never seen my father cry in his life until then. It wasn't much, but I felt so helpless. Kinda felt like my insides were being crushed, my heart pounding about ready to burst. I cried out to my dad. The look on his face made me wish I hadn't. Pure horror. The soldier turned to gaze at me. His eyes were dripping with longing and I knew that I would be next. But instead, he raised his gun and shot my father in the stomach.

Running and stumbling, I fell to the ground beside my father. "You should have stayed home." His last words. A basic 'I told you so.' I even remember glaring up at the golden-eyed monster.

"Something tells me that we will be meeting again." he drawled. I despised him more than anything. I hated him with the very fiber of my being. I still wish death upon him, if he hasn't died already. But I was more concerned about my father's well-being. He was dying in my arms and there was nothing I could do about it. It made me feel so small, so insignificant.

So alone.

-

To Be Continued

-

Ooh, my favourite line. I'll give you cookies if you guess what it was. :D

Waiting till the bomb drops, this is all we've got now, Scream Until Your Heart Stops -_ Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	9. Loss of Hope and Faith

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

Poor Reno. Tell me what you think about the poor boy, kay?

**Chapter 9 - Loss of Hope and Faith**

**--**

**A Plea From Reno**

**--**

I-I'm not alone. I can't stand to be alone. So, he couldn't have left me alone. He's my brother. He ... He knows. He knows how much I hate it when he leaves. After everything ... He's gone. I'm laying here in the dark, scared shitless, and he's not here. Why not?

"God damn Axel and his god damn boyfriend and his god damn friends."

I don't even care that Roxas is like a brother to me at the moment. I just want to be near someone. I want to have someone to hold, to hold me. Is that really too unrealistic? The city burns and I'm stuck on my own.

My friends all joined the war so my only hope is Axel.

"Why aren't you here, Axe?" I whimper into the dark, fisting the blankets that are drawn to my chin. I'm so tempted to reach out and turn the lamp on, but that one movement seems so ... cowardly. Like if I turn on the light, everything will come crawling from the walls laughing at my weakness. So I roll onto my side, facing away from the window.

"What am I even worrying about? It's not like I'm in any danger."

Distant screams chill my bones. "Axel, hurry back. _Please_." Whistles ring in my ears. "Axel, please." A tear rolls down over my cheek as the finality of the moment dawns. "Why did you leave me alone? I don't want to be alone. Axel, I'm gonna die." Orange light explodes through the room. "You chose Rox over me." Heat radiates from the light.

"Axel. Goodbye."

The house splinters and crashes around me. A single beam cracks through the ceiling, falling across my ribs. I cry out before feeling the true heat. I feel it lashing out, marring my body with its whip-like tongue. My own screams echo around in the chaos, mingling in with all of the others lost.

--

The younger blonde was the first to wake, shocked to find himself locked in Axel's embrace. The elder teen had his nose pressed firmly into the crook of his boyfriend's neck, trying to hide himself from the world beyond the walls that shielded them. When Roxas shifted, attempting to remove himself from the embrace, Axel stirred, a small moan dusting his lips. It was obvious when his eyes fluttered that he had not slept well.

"I-I looked, Rox. I looked."

Demyx and Zexion both began to wake at the sound of the redhead's hush. Tears rushed from Axel's eyes and he buried his face still deeper into Roxas' soft neck.

"W-We should go see, shouldn't we? What if ..."

"No. I-It's too late. He's gone. He's gone." Seeing that everyone was up, Axel began to wail. "Reno! Ugh. I can't believe it."

Zexion held his "I-told-you-so", finding that moment not the best to spring it on the grieving redhead. Roxas held him as Demyx rubbed his back in what he hoped to be comforting circles. The slate-haired teen slipped from his position of almost falling off the end of the bed to go out through the door to the roof once more.

Southern Twilight was in shambles. "No hope."

"You can't say that, Zex. Please, don't say that. It seems so final. There is always that one little spark." Demyx moved out beside his best friend, taking his hand as that was just the type of person Demyx was. He needed to know that someone was there for him.

"Did you ... hope ... I was alright?"

Demyx let his lips move into a smirk and turned to look at the dark-eyed teen. "Nah. I didn't hope. Because if I hoped ... it would mean that something was wrong. I believed you would be fine. I had faith."

"Is that not what hope is? Faith?"

"No, silly. Hope ... is when you wish for something to happen. Faith is when you _know_ it will happen."

"So, you're telling me to have faith in Reno's safety?"

Demyx started, cringing at the reality of those words. Slowly, he shook his head. "He would have been here by now."

"No! No! He's alright! He has to be! Maybe he was just ... trapped! Or, went somewhere else! C'mon! We have to go find him!"

"A-Axel ..."

"No, Rox. The last thing he said to me," the redhead tore out as he joined the two on the roof, Roxas right behind him, still gripping his arm to hold him inside. "Was that he didn't want to be alone! He was scared! Roxas, I left my brother to ... to d-die...." The words flowed from the redhead's mouth and he drowned under their pressure. The fact that Reno was gone burned him so deeply, so completely that he fell to his knees, shrugging off the ice-cold touches of those that just wanted to help. "He's gone. H-he's ..."

"Demyx and I shall go investigate. We shall give you closure."

"Closure? What the _fuck_ does closure mean to me, Zexion? My brother is _dead_. All you lost is your house. You still have Demyx. You have your Mom. You have a place to stay. You're set. You didn't lose _anything_ of any importance."

Axel glowered at the slate-haired teen, shaking, looking as though he wanted to just take Zexion by the neck and strangle him. "Axel." His name was a sob from angelic lips. "Don't do this. Please." Roxas was at his side, kneeling while he forced his arm round to grip Axel close to himself. Zexion returned Axel's glare, but turned before the redhead could take his desired swing and gripped the elder blonde's forearm to drag him away.

"Where does he get off on talking all high and mighty? Reno's _dead_, Rox. And I bet'cha he died hating me."

Demyx cringed at the tone he could still hear in his best friend's voice. They walked in silence until stumbling on the rubble of once-proud houses. Zexion eyed up the wreckage before turning to the blonde. "Demyx, tell me. Do you still hope that Reno lives?"

Demyx forced a small smile, more to gather his courage to face the horror rather than confronting the elder teen. "Of course. What type of person wouldn't? I'll hope and hope until we've made sure."

"How can you always be so optimistic at the most crucial moments where everyone is breaking around you? I have yet to watch you fall apart and lose hope."

"Let's _hope_ that never happens, either! What would you guys be without me? But, I don't wanna be a sourpuss like you, so I have to stay optimistic."

The elder teen felt a flare of admiration burn in his abdomen. "Demyx..."

"Now, c'mon! How would you like it if you were stuck after all this time? Reno, we're comin' to find ya'!"

The blonde laughed to try and lighten the mood and to cover his own loss of faith. After seeing the destruction, he clued in to the fact that _no one_ could have survived something like that. Miniature infernos still lit up the already bright stone and wood and wreckage.

Zexion found himself pulled down what used to be streets, but now where so littered with rubble that they couldn't _possibly_ be different from the shattered houses. They came to what Demyx believed was Axel's house and the blonde took a tentative step through the still standing front door. It was all that was left. Just the frame of a burnt away door. No more couch that the four had once been sprawled across watching television. No more hall that led to the bedrooms. No more kitchen that Axel had once almost caught on fire while he was making pancakes. No more _really_ soft carpet that Demyx used to snuggle up on, claiming it to be far more comfortable than the couch, but never being able to convince his friends of this fact. No more large painting hanging above the television that had amused and intrigued the slate-haired teen every time he gazed upon it.

But worst of all ... No more Reno.

No possible way that Reno would have been alive there. But still, they had to hope. They had to cling to that last shred of hope and pray for the redhead's safety.

"Z-Zexion ... I-I ... can't hope anymore."

The addressed teen spun to face the one addressing him. Demyx had ventured towards the room he had once known to be that of the younger brother. "What makes you say this?"

The blonde was next to what might possibly have been a bed that had been snapped in two by a falling timber. Blackened sticks and rocks littered the bed. The only non-obsidian object was held in between Demyx's fingers. "Reno's watch. He never goes anywhere without it."

"Where was it?"

"B-Beside ... "Demyx gulped back the tears as he backed away, horror written all over his features. "Beside his body." He turned to run, crashing into his slate-haired elder who wrapped slender arms around him to steady the sobs.

"You're okay. Shh, it's okay. I've got you. Come on. We have to get out of here. Please, God, let us get out of here."

Zexion forced the blonde into motion, dragging him from the ruins. "It'll be fine, Dem. I've got you."

Did he really? Could he really support them much longer, both mentally and physically? All he wanted to do was go curl up in his _own_ bed with his _own_ mug of his _own_ special hot chocolate while he reread his _own_ signed copy of_ Reckoning _with his _own_ lamp flooding the pages with their light. He wanted to be _home_.

Even if he could be curled up with Demyx in his bed while the blonde calmed from a nightmare. He would be _home_. _Safe_. Not lost in the middle of a war.

"Z-Zexion."

That whimper brought him from his delusions. It was then that he realized tears were forcing their way down his cheeks, that _he_ was being supported by _Demyx_. That _he_ had failed.

"I-I guess ... I've lost hope too."

--

_A Letter From Cloud_

--

"So, now you know my side. Do I get to hear yours?"

I feel the last of my tears roll over my cheeks and onto his exposed chest. "There isn't anything left to say."

"What were your friends like? Family?"

He looks away, avoiding my prying eye. "I'd rather not talk about it. I want ... to forget all that."

"But, what's living if you forget everything you hold dear?"

"What's living if you _have_ nothing to hold dear?"

I feel the heat rise in my chest as something clenches my heart. "So, you have no reason to live?"

"I- ... Oh. Um, I didn't mean it like that! I-I'm sorry, Cloud!"

"It's alright," I lie. "What about 'Squall'? Tell me about that."

Again, he averts his eyes. Slightly annoyed, I slip from his embrace and cup his chin in my hand, forcing his eyes on me. "You should just tell me if you aren't ready. We've known each other for a good time now, we've made out, had sex, but, I guess ... It's up to you how much I get to know about the one I love."

"C-Cloud ..." he gapes as I smirk.

"You ... mean more to me. You make me feel so much more than what she did for me. You make me ... whole. You _understand_ me. Let me understand you, too."

"Cloud." His voice is so filled with sorrow it tears at my chest. I press my lips to his in reassurance. He pulls me closer, lacing his arms around my bare back. "I-I ... I want to tell you. God, Cloud, I want to tell you everything."

"Then why don't you?"

"You'd hate me."

"Can you honestly see me hating you? Leon, right now, you're what is keeping me going. I'd be dead ten times over if you didn't come in and save my butt."

"You'd be surprised how easily you could hate me."

"Don't tell me how to feel."

I nip at his lower lip, causing him to let out a low groan. "Can I tell you how you make me feel?"

A hiss escapes my lips, long and low as he grips my hips, pulling them down on his own. "Once you tell me ... what I want to know. Satisfy my mind before my body."

"Mmm, but I would rather do the latter."

I sit back, squirming away from him. "You're a horny bastard."

"Told you that you could hate me."

"Being grumpy and hating your guts are completely different."

Roxas crows softly behind me and I jump, completely forgetting the bird was there. With a yelp, I crash back into the brunette. "Okay, so, you're a pervert now too?!"

"C'mon babe, lighten up."

"I want to hear your story. Once I do, you can do whatever you want."

"Mmm," Leon licks his lips, trying to seduce me. "That sounds really tempting."

"Well?"

A sigh. "God, Cloud. You really are persistent, aren't you?" I nod, brushing my lips against his once more. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"I want to know about 'Squall'" I hate the fact that just mentioning the name causes him to cringe. "You talk while I take away the pain?"

He moans, nodding.

-

To Be Continued

-

Is it sad that I just realized how perfectly Leon and Cloud fit. Leon is 'Squall', right? Well, a squall can be a type of storm. In a storm, there are Clouds. They fit wonderfully. Sorry for the slightly in depth stuff about faith and hope but I think I was feeling crappy that day. -sadface- But, yeah, tell me what you think, okay? I would love to hear from you!

Never gonna regret, watching every sunset, listen to your heartbeat _- Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost it's empty and cold without you here. - _Seize the day_

_Aevenged Sevenfold_

~xbuttonsx~


	10. Promise

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

I love the fact that so many people are like "This needs so many more reviews!" and then don't come back.

**Chapter 10 - Promise **

**-**

"No! No! Th-This can't be his! It just can't be! No!" Axel cried out, a new wave of tears rolling down his cheeks as he fisted the memento that Demyx and Zexion had brought back to him. The slate-haired teen had gone inside to be with his mother, leaving the other three to wallow in their sorrow.

"Axel?"

"Just leave me alone, would you?"

The younger blonde gazed at his love in shock, not used to being snapped at. Demyx put his hands on the younger's shoulders. "C'mon, maybe that would be a good idea. Let's go see how your mom is doing."

Roxas allowed himself to be led away from the redhead, moving as if in a trance. He was even more surprised when his mother gave him a smile when he walked into the living room.

"M-Mom?"

In the woman's embrace before he even realized what was going on, Roxas snuggled in close to her. "Oh, Roxas! I'm so glad to see you're alright. We're leaving." The youngest blonde pulled back, away from her.

"What?" He gaped towards Zexion where he sat on the couch, eyes fixed on the flooring. The elder blonde woman also had her eyes averted, fiddling with a seam in her shirt. "Mom, what are you talking about?"

"Roxas, it isn't safe here, honey. We're going to move in with your aunt in Radiant Garden."

"What?! No! Why?!"

"She called this morning. She wants us to be safe. You know this isn't the best environment to raise a baby."

The blue-eyed boy had fresh tears welling in his brilliant orbs, shaking his head. "I-I'll stay here, then."

"No, honey, you have to go. We're leaving tomorrow morning."

Roxas backed out of the woman's reach. "If we live that long!" He spun on his heel, racing back up the stairs, flinging himself through the door and onto the roof, collapsing a few feet away from Axel. The redhead was oblivious to the presence until muffled sobs perked his ears.

"R-Rox? Rox, if this is about me snapping at you ... I-I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry."

The blonde shook his head lightly, making sure he was shielded from the redhead. "R-Rox-as? Are you okay?"

"I-I'm moving."

"What? Where to?! When?"

"Aunt Larxene's place tomorrow."

"No! No way! Rox, you can't leave me too! Can't you just stay here?"

Again the blonde shook his head. "I want you to come with us."

"Eh... Y-You know I can't, Rox. That Lark wants to wring my neck. What about Demyx? Where are they going?"

"I-I ... I don't know. But, you can ... you can stay here. I want you to take care of the house. That way ... you know I'll be back."

The blonde shuddered when he felt arms wrap around his shaking shoulders. "You won't ... forget about me, will you Rox?"

"I promise I won't be gone long enough to. I promise."

Axel was in front of him, pressing their lips together, each feathering brush another promise. Pulling Roxas closer, Axel deepened the kiss, forcing Roxas to remember him while he was away. By the time they had broken apart, each had fresh tears in their glistening eyes.

"Axel, I love you. I love you and I don't want to leave you. If I leave you, you'll die. You'll crumble and turn to dust with the rest of the world."

"Everything will be fine. I promise. We'll see each other again. Send that blasted bird over every once in a while."

"Cloud wouldn't listen to me. I know he wouldn't."

"Find another way to contact me?"

"Roxas? Roxas, honey! Are you in here? Roxas?"

The blonde cringed at the worry in his mom's voice. "O-Out here," he called, snuggling closer to the redhead for his protection. The blonde woman peeked out through the door before stepping onto the shingles.

"Roxas, honey, you need to get your things packed. I've changed my mind. We're leaving the minute you're ready."

"What if I refuse to get ready?"

"Then you are coming without any of your things. At the latest, we're leaving at five thirty. It's two o'clock already."

The blonde woman disappeared back through the door. "Axe, I'm not going. I can't leave you."

"C'mon, babe. Radiant Garden is still safe. I want you to be safe. I don't want you to leave either, but these things have to be done."

"So, you're on her side?"

Axel didn't answer, just hauled the blonde to his feet and forced him to get ready. The two of them threw the blonde's clothes and worldly possessions into suitcases in silence. Neither Demyx nor Zexion made an appearance, knowing that this was something that the two needed to do on their own. Finally, an hour and a half later, Roxas had everything he needed lodged in compartments and in pockets. Only one thing remained that he was taking.

Roxas ran the raven feather through his fingers.

Carrying two items each, Axel and Roxas made their way down the stairs. More luggage was strewn about the entryway. Demyx had his back resting against the wall, staring at the remains of his best friend's life.

"So, it's really happening?"

Roxas nodded. "Y-Yeah, I guess."

"We'll miss you."

"I'll be back, I promise."

Demyx smirked slightly. "I have faith in that. Zex and me and my mom are gonna move in with an old boyfriend of my mom's. He lives in North Twilight. We'll be there until they say we can move into that house we bought."

"So, you guys are leaving me too?"

Axel didn't even try to hide the icy hurt in his voice. Demyx's lip quivered as he gazed up at the redhead. "It is not of our own choosing, Axel." Spinning on the spot, Axel turned to glare at the slate-haired teen that had come up behind him. A snarl rumbled in the throat of the redhead.

"You bastard. What do you care if I'm stuck here all alone?! Maybe ... Maybe it'd be better if I did die. If I die, I'll be alone. Just like Reno. That's what you want, isn't it, you sadistic bastard! That's why you didn't force me to go get him! That's why you didn't _keep at me_! It's your fault that Reno's dead! It's your fault that I'm still alive!"

Roxas was shocked at the outburst, but managed to grab hold of the redhead before he lunged on what the smaller blonde thought to be one of his friends. "Axel, calm down! Please! Zexion didn't mean anything bad by it!"

"Calm down? Rox, how the _fuck_ am I supposed to calm down?! First it was being scared for this asshole's life, then my brother dies, and now you're leaving me! The people I care most about are just leaving me to rot here on my own! How would you like it?! Knowing that you have _no one_?!"

The redhead was shaking uncontrollably, looking as though he were about to collapse. "I'll still be here, Axe."

"No! You'll be half a world away!"

"Now, that's an exaggeration! I'm only a few hours away. And Demyx is only a short walk. It's no different, Axe. I promise you."

"How the hell are you supposed to keep that promise, Rox? Hmm? Tell me! Tell me how it will be the same!"

"I-I don't ... I don't know."

The redhead reeled, facing Roxas once more, ripping his hands out of the blonde's grasp. "Of course you don't. How could you?!"

Roxas was horrified. Never before had he seen Axel so riled up, so bloodthirsty. A small line of saliva trailed down to his chin from when he had whipped around to face his love. "Rox, how could you know?" It was a sob. Finally, Axel's will was beaten down by his fatigue and he collapsed into the smaller blonde. "I'll miss you."

"I know."

"Roxas, if you're done, we need to get going. The train will be leaving soon."

"Why do we have to go?"

"We've already been through this."

The elder blonde woman appeared in the door frame. "You boys help them with their luggage, alright?"

"Yes, Mum."

"Of course."

Zexion brushed passed the elder teen that was so close to attacking him, grabbing a few of the bags before pushing out through the door, Demyx close behind him. Axel and Roxas stayed back for a few minutes.

"I-I can't. I can't say goodbye."

"Then don't. Say 'see you later'."

"I'm not going to the station, Rox. I can't. I'm worthless. I can't do anything."

"It's alright, Axel. No one's expecting you to."

"I-I'm so sorry. I-I don't know ... what came over me earlier."

"I'm sure that Zexion is the one you should be apologizing to, not me."

"I know."

"Then why don't you?"

There was a pause, Axel lifting himself back away from the blonde, glad that everyone else had filed out to leave the two to their goodbyes. Axel pressed his lips to Roxas' once more. "I love you, Rox. Hurry back to me."

"I'll try."

"Roxas, hurry up! Come on!"

"Bye Axel."

"No! Not bye. 'I'll see you soon, Axel!' That's what I want to hear."

"See you, Axel."

"I'll miss you, Rox-as."

The blonde was pulled impatiently through the front door. Axel raced up to his new bedroom, flying through the door as the tears washed over his face once more. Too much, too fast. Everything was crumbling away. "I'll miss you, Rox."

--

_A Letter From Cloud_

--

He moans against my lips.

"And you thought that would make me hate you?"

"I-I don't see why you wouldn't. I hate myself."

"Cause you couldn't stop him?"

"Exactly."

A small whimper betrays his lips as I move away. Trailing a finger up to silence the whimper, I straddle his legs. "You couldn't do anything to save them, Leon. You could have done for them about as much as I could have done for my dad."

"I could have told someone! I could have ..."

"Tell who? It would have been your word against his. Last time I checked, he's a really powerful general and you are his pawn."

"He was torturing them!"

"What would you have done differently?"

I sit, causing him to stiffen, drawing in a sharp breath. "I would have saved them. I wouldn't have killed Kadaj."

"How would you save them?"

"Oh, Cloud, why can't you just let it go?"

"Because you can't."

There was a moment's pause between us and through our silence, motors revved and voices whooped. The noise sends a chill up my spine and you take me in your arms, cooing soft words into my ear. Those voices ... they sound so ... vaguely familiar.

A shrill warning, a piercing scream, wings beating ferociously against the ground. "Roxas?" The black bird flung himself into the sky, over the treetops. I scramble up and out of Leon's embrace to watch where the menace streaks off to but shiver once more when I hear a crash in the trees. "Quick, clothes." I manage, grabbing at the littered clothing spread across the clearing.

"Cloud? What's wrong?"

"Can't you hear? Someone - or at least something - is coming. Through the trees."

"The same that passed?"

"Most likely. Now hurry."

I toss his discarded jeans over onto his head, pulling on my own, doing an odd little "Oh-my-god-I'm-flipping-late-for-a-very-important-date" dance. Just as I latch the waistband over my hips, the first intruder flitted through the brush into our secret copse.

"What do you want?" I hiss, cursing the distance from myself and safety, as well as the idiotic idea of leaving behind our weapons. Leon leaned his head back against the tree trunk behind him.

"We've come to see if you are the duo that search for Master Xemnas. Answer, woman. Are these the two?"

The woman that had been on the deck appears at the edge of the clearing. "Yeah, that's them."

"Very well. You may leave." The man turns back towards me. "Tell me, why do you want to see Master Xemnas?"

"It's our job. Now, if you don't mind, I was right in the middle of having a good time." Leon stood, uncaring of the fact that his boxers hung haphazardlyover his slim and narrow hips. The intruder faces the brunette, a smirk edging onto his lips.

"Ah, of course. I get to deal with a tough punk. Who're you working for?"

"I'll give you a hint. _Heartless_."

Taken aback, the soldier in front of us started, drawing himself back from the brunette before a large sneer graces his lips. "You know what? That's all we needed to hear. Grab 'em, boys!"

As if appearing from thin air, five soldiers materialized around the outside ring of trees. I feel a pair of hands grab my shoulders and another hand weave into my hair, pulling back hard. "Leon!" I cry when I see him fall to the ground after being hit in the back of the knees. I am forced to the ground, my face being shoved into the lush grass. A knee is pressed between my shoulder blades and a hush rolls over my ear.

"It won't hurt. That bad. I promise. We'll be nice."

-

To Be Continued

-

That last line there just made my heart flip over. Since I know what happens. -shudder- Tell me what you think, kay?

All the love that we found, standing on the rooftops, waiting till the bomb drops - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	11. Portrait of Defeat

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

Enter Lark and Nam. Not for long, but, say hello, girlies. I find that I really enjoyed writing Axel's parts. And, poor Cloud. All I can say is poor Cloud.

**Chapter 11 - Portrait of Defeat**

**-**

"Oh, Roxas honey! How are you?! And my darling sister! I'm so glad that the two of you could join me."

Roxas refused to allow the excited blonde woman that was gripping onto him see his curled lip of disgust. Allowing her to take his bags, eyes droopy from the long train ride, Roxas shambled into the house he would be staying at for the next while. At least, what he hoped would only be a while.

"Roxas, why don't you go play with your cousin? She's up in her room."

Holding his tongue, wanting so desperately to snap at his aunt that he was not six anymore, Roxas did as he was told and made his way up the familiar stairs and stood outside his little cousin's room. She was only a few months younger than he, but he just loved to rub that in her face.

Hesitantly, he brought his fist up and knocked quietly on the closed door. "It's unlocked." Roxas slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open. The girl gasped, her face breaking out in a smile. "Roxas!" Roxas smiled a little as the younger blonde shot to her feet, jumping on her cousin and hugging him close.

"Hey, Naminé. How've you been?"

"Good, I suppose. Mom didn't even tell me you guys were coming!"

"Yeah, it was really last minute."

The girl with big blue eyes laid herself back onto the floor with her drawings, taking her pencil in hand once more, just as she had been without the interruption. Roxas moved over to sit on her bed, gripping the edge of the mattress in still-shaking fingers. He didn't want to be here. Although he loved his cousin, he couldn't stand his aunt. Above all else, Axel's outburst resounded through his mind.

"Can you sit still, Roxas? I want draw you! Please?"

Giving a slight nod, Roxas attempted to force his thoughts away from him. "Can I get you to pose?"

The elder blonde quirked his eyebrow. "What type of pose?"

She shrugged happily, getting to her feet once more. She took his arm gingerly in her hands, moving it farther from his body. It took all of two minutes for Naminé to get the elder teen into a position she wanted. "There. Not too hard, right? It looks perfect. You really seem to have a lot of sadness in you, so, I'll play on that." She lay herself back down, taking in the downcast orbs, the pearly pout and the disheveled traveling hair.

He almost hated this, having eyes on him, taking him in. Eyes that weren't his love's. He hated the time he had to think. Thinking seemed to be what he did best as of late. He couldn't believe how badly he missed Axel already and wondered vaguely if the redhead missed him. _Obviously_, that same little voice snapped after having been dormant for so long. _Why would he not miss you, dunderhead? After that type of show when you left, yeah, I'd say he's hurting pretty bad right now. He was right, you know. How would you like it if everything you lived for was stripped away from you?_

_It's not like I could _do _anything, _Roxas snapped back, his pouted lips almost breaking into a snarl.

_Oh really?_

_Really. Ah, this is pathetic! I'm having a conversation in my head._

_Because you just need to take it easy, pal. You're too stressed out for your own good. It'll catch up to you soon enough._

Roxas fisted the bedspread below him. He couldn't take it any more. Closing his eyes from his exhaustion, Roxas just wanted to slip into the black oblivion and sleep. Right on the edge of doing so, he was prodded back into consciousness by Naminé's voice.

"Roxas? Is everything alright?"

The blonde boy raised his cerulean orbs to meet the baby blue of his younger cousin. "Uh, yeah. I guess. I-I've just had a really long day."

More long days crept by Roxas, his mind always stuck back in Twilight Town, wondering whether Axel had broken down and murdered Zexion - or himself - and if his friends missed him. God, he missed them. He couldn't believe how much. His heart ached in his chest and he just wanted to go back home.

He was at his aunt's for five weeks before he voiced this to his mom.

"When are we going back, mom? I don't know how much more of this I can take. I miss the guys and it's tough being in a house of girls."

"Oh, Rox, honey. I'm sorry. But,.... ugh ... From the feel of that ..." the blonde woman cringed, grabbing her stomach. "Lark?! Lark, I think it's time!"

Before Roxas could really understand what was happening, he was whisked away in an ambulance, his mother gripping one of his hands and Larxene holding the other in a death grip. He was pushed aside the moment his mother was being wheeled away.

"Um ... What just happened?"

--

**A Deceitful Scream from Axel**

--

I can't believe the time that has passed. Five weeks already since the squirt left. God, I miss him so badly. And Reno. Jeez, it feels like he'll just pop his head in through the door and say "Haha, idiot, joke's on you! I planted the watch there to see if you would cry! And you did! You're such a baby!" But of course, the joke's still on me.

Surprisingly enough, I have yet to wrap my hands around Zexion's throat. Not that I've had the chance. He avoids me like the plague. Haven't even seen Demyx around that much. They've moved into their new house and Dem even invited me over for the first night staying in it. It just feels so wrong to be with those two without Rox.

So, today, five weeks after my little blonde babe left, I have invited Demyx over. I don't know what possesses me to do so, but I run out to the liquor store in Central Twilight and grab coolers, wine and some rum. I've been meaning to get drunk ever since that one night, just so that I could see what it felt like to be numb to it all again. But I never got around to it because, honestly, what fun is it to get drunk on your own?

"Hey, Axe? You up in Roxas' room?"

"Yeah, Dem."

My voice... it's slightly slurred already, even in my own ears. I haven't had much, but, apparently it was enough. Demyx pokes his blonde buzz of hair in through the door. God, he looks like Rox. "Are you okay, Axel?"

"Oh, yeah. Peachy. C'mon, c'mon. Sit, sir! Gots a lil' somethin' for ya."

Man, I'm out of it. I hand him the half-empty bottle of wine that I had been sucking from. "Y-You're drunk?"

"Nah. Gettin' there though. S'alright, though. We'll get drunk together."

He sits at the edge of the bed, moving my sprawled feet out of the way. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

"What harm can we do, Dem-xas?" I don't even realize that his name slurs into Roxas'. His worried aquamarine orbs morph into lust-filled cerulean. "Get yourself numb from the world with me, babe."

"I think you've had enough already."

"No!" I hiss, nudging the empty cooler from my lap. On all fours I crawl forwards, grabbing Demyx's wrists. I place one foot on the floor then the other and force the blonde back. "Drink with me, Romyx."

"Ugh, Axel, what are you doing? And I'm _Demyx_, okay! Your breath reeks. Get off me."

I take a bottle and shove it in his hand, backing away slightly. "Drink, _Dem-yx. _Join me. I don't wanna ... be alone tonight."

"I don't like alcohol, Axel. You know that."

"I dun wanna be alone. Just a lil', Dem. Just a lil'. Enough to get you to forget what you're doing."

"I don't want any."

"Please, Dem. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I could be sick. I can't tolerate the alcohol. Please, Axel, just ... don't."

"C'mon, Dem. It's not bad. See, look, I even got you something light. Save the rum for me. You can have wine and the vodka coolers. C'mon. You can barely taste the alcohol in the coolers."

I shove the pink bottle towards the blonde before getting up and turning on the music in the stereo.

_When you give it to me ya' give it to me raw and hard_

I jut my hips to the fast, haphazard beats. Demyx slowly raises the bottle to his lips as though it were about to bite him. "Just try a sip, babe. Then you'll see. It's nice and sweet."

He cringes then takes a small sip, perking at the sugary flavor. "Mmm! I guess this _is_ half good."

"See, told you!"

--

_A Letter From Cloud_

--

"Up you get. C'mon, Blondie. You're comin' with us."

I cringe, feeling the cool metal digging into my neck, wrists and ankles, the chain that connects it clinking on my bare chest. "Leave Leon. He doesn't know anything about _The Heartless._ He was just taken in last week." I lie, shying away from his intense blue eyes.

"Th-"

"Quiet, idiot. We already know that _Squall Leonhart _has been with _The Heartless_ for as long as our dear Kadaj. We already _know_ enough about _him_."

The man holding me captive pulls up on the chain, forcing me to look into his menacing eyes. My lip curls in disgust and I try to raise my hands to pull at the chain, but they can go no higher than my chest without getting caught up around my ankles. "Then," I hiss instead. "What're you gonna do to us?"

"Oh, Master Xemnas will find out a few ways to have his fun."

I refuse to move when he draws the shackles closer to him. "You dare go against us? You really aren't that bright, are you?"

"Cloud!"

My skin burns at the slap across my cheek, but still do I refuse to leave my spot. "Want me to knock him out for ya?"

"Mm, yeah, that would be appreciated."

A rank-smelling cloth covers my mouth and nose, causing me to cough before quickly losing consciousness. By the time I wake up, I'm blindfolded, stripped back to my boxers, held to the cool stone wall behind me with even colder steel shackles. I moan from the foul taste in my mouth and the pain in my head. Chloroform. I shudder. Something beside me moves.

"Cloud? Oh, Cloud, is that you? Please, tell me it is!"

Leon. I moan once more as I attempt to move towards the sound of his voice and feel the rising fire on my chest. "Wh-What happened? Where are we?"

"Oh, I shall answer that for you, dear Cloud. Uncover his eyes. I would like to witness his reaction."

Feeling someone near me, I tremble, cringing away from their touch. "Cooperate, Cloud, or Leon shall gain a few scars." Those icy words still me. I take in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. The smell of death lingers on the man ridding me of my blindfold. I scrunch my eyes closed as yellow-orange light filters into them. Another groan.

"Open your eyes, Cloud. Look at me."

I do as I'm told and feel my whole being freeze to the spot. My eyes go wide, - despite the throbbing in my head - my mouth drops and my heart speeds, my breath faltering. "You. God damn it. It's you, you bastard! You killed my dad!"

Silver hair, golden orbs, smug smirk. "Ah, dear boy, you must refer to me as Xemnas, thank you."

-

To Be Continued

-

See now why I said poor Cloud? Tell me what you think, please? It would mean a lot.

This is all we've got now, scream until your heart stops, never gonna regret - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	12. Sora

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

In teh brackets, in case you didn't already know, is what is being said from Axel while he is drunk. Fun times, these. Yes, it is happening at the moment that Roxas is living in.

**Chapter 12 - Sora **

--

**A Call of Distrust From Demyx**

--

"I'm so drunk!" I wail, bringing the half-empty bottle to my lips once more.

"How could ya' be, Dem? S'only your second cooler!"

I sway, wrapping my arm around Axel's shoulder to keep me steady. My tactics fail and we both fall to the bed, laughing, spilling some of the liquid from the bottles onto the bed. He rolls over, placing his own alcohol onto the bedside table, yanking my sweet, sweet cooler with him. I whimper, reaching out for it like a baby, a clear pout etched on my lips.

"Oh, I have something better in store, Romyx." He shifts back over, grabbing a wrist in each of his hands, pinning them back beside my head. I just smile drunkenly, not comprehending the situation as any common sense I had remaining flitted out the window. Knees weigh the bed down beside my hips.

"Axel..." I moan, feeling him above me.

_There is nothing you can do that I have not already done to myself_

"Mmm, Rox-as. My favourite babe with my favourite song." He whispers, gnawing at my earlobe. I moan once more, my hips moving on their on to the swaying voices. _"Never wanted to dance with no body but you. Never wanted to dance with nobody but you; wouldn't take no for an answer you fuckin' bitch. _That's what you are, isn't it, Rox? You're my bitch. My _fuckin'_ bitch."

"_Be nice, be nice to me, don't let me be. Be nice, be nice to me, don't let me go._" I yowl with the lyrics, my hips jutting as his teeth clamp down hard on my ear. He nips down my jaw line, catching my lips in a heated, passionate kiss. I really am Roxas in his mind.

"Oh, Rox." he moans. "I've waited too long to do this. So long."

"Then dance with me. Dance with me, Axel."

I'm so drunk.

--

"Roxas, come on. Your mom wants you there."

"I-Is she giving birth right now?"

Larxene shook her head, but a smile was eminent on her features. She gripped the boy in a hug. "Not yet. But, she will be soon! Her water's already broke and everything! You'll be a big brother! Aren't you excited?!"

He should have been, but he really wasn't. "I-I don't want to go in there. Please."

The green-eyed woman pulled away. "What? What do you mean?! You don't want to see your little brother or sister in their first few seconds of life?"

"Not really, no."

"Ugh, you're just like your father. Fine, stay right here. I'll come out and check on you every once in a while." Without waiting for a reply, Larxene was off, back through the double doors leading to the maternity ward. Not liking the idea of standing the whole time, Roxas decided that he would sit in the waiting room.

The hours ticked by, minute by excruciatingly long, boring minute. The blonde cursed, being left with his thoughts once more. _Wonder what Axel's doing? Maybe I could give him a call? No, that would cost too much. Doubt he'd even be home. _

_Home. Ha. He doesn't have a home. Wait, that's a mean thing to think. What's your problem, sir? Jealous that your boyfriend gets to sleep in your bed, but you don't? Oh yeah, baby, bet that's it! That's it all the way. You're just mad because you don't get to go to _your _home. Pathetic, Rox-as. Just pathetic!_

That voice... He wanted to strangle whoever was behind it. But, he knew that he couldn't. The voice ... belonged to someone he couldn't kill. It was so familiar, just to hear them speak, no matter the words, was enough to send Roxas into a hole of depression, knowing he would never see them again.

"Why'm I the pathetic one, Reno? I didn't have to stick around after I died to bug one of my best friends." The blonde didn't care he was speaking out loud. No one was around anyway.

_Aww, but I wanted to come back and torment you, Rox. Besides, I'm not real. This is all in your head. You have a good imagination though. You can still hear me, even though I've been gone for over a month. Axel's lost my voice already. Although, he just wants to block it out, pretend that I never existed. It's easier for him. But, you, who have no one but an aunt you hate, a mother that won't have time for you and a cousin that gets whisked away by her friends to abandon you, you hear me._

"What're you getting at?"

_You miss them. You miss the way things used to be. You miss me, your brother, that scary-ass bird, your dad, your _mom_. You miss your _life_._

"Well, of course I do. Why wouldn't I miss them?"

_I dunno, Rox. You always were an odd ball._

"Shut up, would you?!"

"Roxas? Who're you talking to?"

_("Mmm, Rox-as. My favourite babe with my favourite song.")_

The teen froze. Larxene, her hand on his shoulder, was gaping at him curiously. "U-Uh no one. It's nothing. I'm sorry. I-Is she okay?"

"You're mom? Yeah, she's fine. Another hour or so and you'll be a big brother. Aren't you excited yet?"

"Still a nope."

"Ugh, Roxas, you're hopeless. I'll be back again when there is more news."

"Yeah, whatever."

A little later, Larxene came back out. "Roxas, I -

_(saw the white light. Did you see the white light? Did you, Rox-as? It was so pretty. Help me see that light again, Rox-as)_

- have some bad news."

_(Rox) _

"What? What happened?! Is my mom okay?"

"Yeah, she's alright. She'll be fine. But, one of the babies. ... They can't get her to breathe."

"One of them?"

_(Mmm, Rox-as) _

"Yes. A boy and a girl."

"What about the boy, then? What about him?"

_(My Roxas)_

"He wasn't breathing either. But, they got him to cry. It took a few minutes, but he's fine. They don't know if he had any brain damage from it though."

"Can I go see my mom, now?"

"She's really tired."

"I need to go see her."

"Okay, fine. C'mon."

_(My dear, beautiful Roxas. You are so hott, laying here beneath me. Let me have you again. Please)_

Roxas followed his aunt through the halls and into the room with his mother cradling an infant wrapped in blue blankets. "Roxas. Hi, honey. Look, it's your baby brother. Come say hi." Roxas felt a smile grace his lips before he even fully comprehended that the small little thing blinking blearily up at him was his baby brother.

"Hey, cutie," he cooed, reaching his finger out that the baby ogled at. Beautiful blue eyes, just like his mother and brothers. But the hair, already, just minutes old and still wet and plastered to his chubby forehead, was that of his father. "What's his name?"

"Sora."

--

_A Letter From Cloud_

--

Rage flows through my veins as I take in the man that I have been searching for for almost the past year. "You bastard! You killed him! You killed him! Because he was there! You killed him!" I feel the tears slipping down over my cheeks, shocked that I can still cry after this morning. _Was it this morning? _I struggle against my bindings to no avail.

"Mar him," he orders. I prepare myself for the sting of pain, but struggle all the more when I see a man move instead towards Leon's shaking, almost naked frame. A blade glints in his hand.

"No! What are you doing?! Leave him alone, you fuckin' bastard! Leave him alone!"

"Stop protesting against fate and perhaps I shall."

His warning stills me, my body going limp as I break down. Leon glances around unseeingly, feeling the presence in front of him. "Cloud, what's going on?! What's the matter?!"

"I-It'll be okay. I promise."

"You dare undertake the task of protecting this man even though you are in no position to do so? Mmm, much like your father, indeed, Cloud Strife."

"Don't talk about my dad like you knew him!"

"You mean you don't know?"

"Know what, you prick?"

"There's one."

Leon's cry of pain made me freeze once more. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, just stop."

"I-It's okay, Cl-Cloud," he gasps in short breaths, ignoring the searing pain across the bridge of his nose - just below his blindfold - from the injury he had just sustained. "I can take it."

"No! I-I ... what if he kills you? That'll be two that _monster_ stole from me!"

"Oh, Cloud, I would watch your mouth if I were you. Or do you truly not care about this man's life? The more you insult me, the more he will pay for it." Xemnas moves into the darkened room. The throbbing in my head has subsided with the fear.

"Fine, _Xemnas_, what do you want with us? Why're we here?"

"Simple. Your friend here killed our spy. We need a new one."

"So you want it to be one of us?"

"It would seem that way, wouldn't it?"

"So you only need _one_ of us."

"You really are your father's son. You know, he would say the same thing."

"Stop talking about my dad as though you knew him, please. You saw him for maybe two seconds before you killed him."

"That is where you are mistaken, Cloud. I knew your father, yourself, your little brother and even your mother."

I wince. My family. Someone that knew my family? He killed my dad, but he knew my family! "How? How'd you know us? If you knew my dad, why'd you kill him?"

"Just because I knew him doesn't mean we were close. Sora despised me. He wanted me dead."

"Why?"

"I wanted power. He wanted to stop me. Guess who won."

"No!" I cringe, attempting to keep my anger in check, for Leon's sake. "Th-That doesn't answer _how_ you knew him. Especially if you're all the way over in Hollow Bastian."

"Cloud, you are so naive. People move away, leave their homes, everything they've ever known. I did that to Sora. He had been my friend. We grew up together. Do you not remember when I would stop by for tea? Then again, I suppose you were young then. Maybe four or five."

I can't believe what he's saying. Shaking my head, I slump in my restraints. "Wh-What made you leave, then?"

"Roxas."

"What did my brother have to do with anything?"

"Everything, Cloud. Absolutely _everything_."

My mind races. Roxas. Roxas was such a beautiful child with his amazing blue orbs and uncaring smile. He could make the toughest heart melt with just a single, broken word. Thoughts click into place that rack my body with shivers.

"You sick fuck," I hiss, eyes shooting open to glare at the demon. "You ... you hurt him. It was you. You broke him. He was a baby!"

"So, you remember now, it seems. Hurt Leon again."

The brunette bites back the gasp as he gains a mark on his chest similar to the one I had received while being unconscious. "I'm sorry, Leon. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault, ba-Cloud. You're doing better than I would be able to do."

Screams bounce through my memory as shivers roll over my spine.

_"Get out of my house, you sick bastard! You leave my sons alone!"_

_"Ah, but, Sora, when they have your wife's eyes, that is nearly impossible. They are so irresistible!"_

_The chocolate-haired man slammed the door in Xemnas' sneering face. "Never come back! You are a monster."_

"So you killed him. Because ... you wanted to have your way with ... my brother."

Breaths coming in short gasps, I struggle once more, trying so hard to get out of my bindings just to curl into a ball and forget this nightmare.

"Not truly your brother. More like the wielder of those gorgeous blue eyes."

"You wanted my mother, but settled for my brother."

"Now I'll settle for you."

"No!" Leon screams, tugging at his restraints for the first time. "No! Leave him alone!"

"Let me guess, because he's yours? Oooh, that may have just given me an idea."

-

To Be Continued

-

The song that Axel and Demyx were singing was Never Wanted To Dance by Mindless Self Indulgence. Keep it in mind. Comes in again in the last few lines of the fic.

Watching every sunset, listen to your heartbeat, all the love that we've found - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	13. Desperation

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

**Chapter 13 - Desperation **

--

**A Deceitful Scream from Axel**

--

My head pounds as my eyes slowly drift open. A groan escapes my lips and I try to move my hand up to support my forehead but am shocked to find something holding it down. A warm something. A warm something that feels like skin.

"Rox?" I ask almost hopefully, taking in the blonde tuft of hair up by my shoulder. My vision still blurred from the alcohol, I pull my arm out from beneath the teen sleeping beside me. I rouse him, and he looks up with large, aquamarine orbs. Not cerulean. "Aww, shit, no!"

"A-Axel? Holy crap, wh-what ...ow! Oh my god. No!"

My cheeks shine to match my hair. Demyx scuttles off of the bed, wincing and yelping when he realizes how badly his backside hurts. His sea-green orbs dance as tears spring to their post.

"L-Last night ... It's all your fault, Axel! I didn't want to get drunk, I didn't!"

"Shut up for a minute, Demyx." I snap, my head in my hands. "Ah, I can't believe this. I cheated on him. I cheated on Roxas! Oh my god, I can't believe I did that."

The blonde is pulling on his clothes, shaking and looking about ready to fall to the floor. "I-If it makes any difference ... you thought I was him. You kept calling me Roxas and that's what you called out when you ... um ...you know."

"How do you remember all this?"

He's not looking at me. Then again, I'm not meeting his eye anyway. "I get lost in the moment when I'm drunk. I don't know what I'm doing. But I can look back on it as though nothing ever happened. As though I weren't drunk. The alcohol just effects my judgement."

"So, you can still hear and see everything. Gah, Dem, I'm so sorry. And your being straight and all. Ah, Dem, I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, blonde mess flailing. "No. I wish that I could say it's alright. I really wish I could ... but ... I feel so ... I think you took advantage of me, Axel. Any other time, I would have said no in an instant, even if you and Roxas weren't going out. But ... I feel like you raped me, Axe. You took complete advantage."

"S-so ... you hate me? I'm so sorry, Dem. You know I didn't mean to!"

"Right, it was all the alcohol. And you wonder why I hate the stuff? I'm going home now, Axel. But don't expect me to keep this quiet from Roxas."

"Dem!" I'm on my feet, the bedspread wrapped around my hips. I grab his wrist, our eyes locking for the first time since the night previous. "Demyx, please. I-I don't want him finding out second-hand. I'll have to tell him."

"Tell me when you do. Even though I'm just about as guilty as you for letting you do that to me, I still feel like you betrayed me. You betrayed both me and Roxas."

"I didn't know what I was doing!"

"I'm not forgiving you, Axel. Please, let me go."

My breath is hitching in my throat. "Dem ..." Slowly, I let his wrist slip from my grasp.

"Bye, Axel."

I shatter. Falling to my knees, my lungs fail me and I can barely take in enough oxygen to stay conscious. The blonde slips away, tears falling from his aquamarine orbs. I jump to my feet, tossing myself into Roxas' bathroom, barely making it to the porcelain toilet bowl before all the alcohol from last night comes back to join the world. I empty my stomach, but still feel retched.

I ... betrayed him. Both of them. I hurt them. I ... Maybe it would be best ... if I were just to leave them to their lives. Maybe Reno would take me. Maybe I could join him. Who would I be hurting? Demyx would be happy, Roxas would be happy, Zexion would be ecstatic. Who else is there to live for?

No one.

A shiver rolls over my spine, a sour taste plucking at my mouth, telling me to position myself once more above the water. So, it was decided. The world would be a better place without me. Now, how to go about it? Get drunk again? No. I'll never touch the poison again. Go find the nearest dealer and overdose on whatever he's selling? No, they all died with Reno. Join the war? Never. I hate heights, so falling to my death is out of the picture.

The phone rings. My ears perk at the unfamiliar sound. Slowly, I saunter down the stairs, shocked that the person on the other side was so determined to get through. Maybe it was Demyx telling me to go burn in hell. Nah, that didn't sound like something Demyx would do. I'm unsure of my voice when I pick up.

"He… Hell… Hi?" I gasp out, my forehead going to rest on the wall beside the telephone.

"_Hey, Axe? Are you okay? You don't sound that good_."

I start to cry again, my whole body shaking. Just the voice I need to hear.

"I ... I'm ... alright ..." What was the point in making my little babe worry? Was it right for me to still think of him like that?

"_I don't believe you_."

"I'm _so flattered_." A hiss. "I'm fine. Got it memorized?" I would rather he hate me if I'm really going to kill myself.

"_A-Axel..."_

"What do you want, Rox? I'm sorry."

"_I-I just called to tell you ... we'll be coming home next week. My mom is getting sick of Larxene. Guess what! She had a baby boy. Just yesterday! His name is Sora."_

"That's cute, Rox." Why can I not stop the tears, the shaking, the fire that burns over my body at just _hearing_ his voice?

"_Are you mad at me, Axe? I'm sorry I haven't called_!"

"I'm not mad at you, b-babe. Just ... did something last night that I'm gonna regret. But, I'll tell you about that when you get home. I have to ... " I drop the phone, dashing into the bathroom passed the living room. I make it just in time. Crying harder, shaking more viciously, I wipe my mouth clean, crawling back out to the kitchen.

"_Axel?! _Axel?! _What's going on?! _Axel?!"

The panic his voice carries causes my breath to hitch. "I-I ... I'm ... A bit ... sick, Rox. Sorry."

"_I-I'll let you go then. But, I just wanna tell you one more thing. Mom's been a lot better lately. The doctor she saw in Radiant Garden said that she was a lot less sick than what everyone in Twilight Town said! Isn't that great?!"_

"Uh, yeah, Rox. Great news."

"_You could sound more enthusiastic, you know_."

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Like I said, I'm really sick right now, Rox."

"_O-Okay. I'll see you soon, then."_

"How soon?"

"_Well, mom has to be released from the hospital. Then we have to gather our stuff again and then the day for the train ride. I'd say about four days."_

"I'll see you then."

"_Bye, Axe."_

I gag, faltering and almost vomiting right there in the middle of the kitchen. "Rox, please."

"_Oh, erm, yeah. See you_."

"See you.

"_Love you?"_

"Love you too, babe."

Too much. The line goes dead and I just lay there on the floor, my head spinning, my body burning. I don't even bother to move when the loud beeping of an unhooked phone prods my headache back into full swing.

"I have to love you. You are everything to me, Rox-as. But, if that's true ... how could I have cheated on you? I didn't mean to, Rox. I didn't. I'm so sorry. I ... I can't do this anymore."

I barely make it to the bathroom as my stomach churns once more.

--

"Is everything okay, Roxas?"

The blonde faltered as he placed his last object into the open suitcase in front of him. "Uh, yeah, Nam, thanks."

"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?"

His face grew red at her know-all smile. Naminé sat on the edge of his bed, placing her petite hand over his. "I can see it in your eyes. You're worried about him."

"Who?" he asked, wondering how much his beloved cousin had figured out. Her smile grew.

"The boy you were talking with the other day. You were so worried about him then and that feeling hasn't gone away. What do you think happened?"

Roxas looked down at the brown-suede suitcase, moving to stroke the feather that lay on top of the random articles of clothing. "He said he was just sick with the flu or something."

"But you don't believe him."

"What makes you think that?"

"I know you, Roxas."

"So?"

She sighed. "Okay. I see that you don't want to talk about it, so I'm not going to push it on you. I don't want our last day together to be us fighting."

"Aw, Nam, I'm sorry. I'll come back and visit you all the time, I promise."

"Last time you said that was at your dad's funeral."

The elder blonde felt his cheeks go bright red. He forced a small smile. "I'm sorry, Nam. You know I love you and all, but I've been really busy and the war and you live so far away and ..."

"It's okay, Roxas. I understand." She placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Now, let's get your things downstairs, alright? Mom and Auntie are probably waiting."

"Naminé?"

"Yes, Roxas?" The blonde girl took one of the lighter suitcases, turning back to her elder cousin with a closed-eye smile spread happily across her face. Most people would look right through and not notice the pinprick tears that the strong girl held back. But, Roxas wasn't 'most people' and felt his heart swell at the sight. He gripped his cousin in a tight hug.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

The two grabbed Roxas' things and brought them to the awaiting women. Larxene held baby Sora in her hands and he was giggling happily, trying to reach up and grab some of the woman's hair. Growing so fast. Roxas' mother had her things packed and the boy realized she was going home with half of the things she had come with. Only one hand was occupied with a suitcase.

"Mom?"

"C'mon, Roxas, or we'll miss our train!"

"Okay, okay! I'm coming. See you guys!"

"Remember to come back, Roxas. You promised."

"I know."

"Remember, I may not know it's you, and you may not know it's me -"

"But we'll always be together, best of friends, no matter what. Don't worry, Nam. I won't ever forget that."

The blonde girl threw her facade to the wind and let the tears fall down her cheeks as she stood on her front doorstep, waving in big arcs at the trio as they made their way towards the train station that was a short walk from where they stood.

"Don't worry, Axel. I'll be home soon," Roxas whispered to the wind.

--

_A Letter From Cloud_

--

I feel my stomach churn and clamp my eyes shut. If he can't see my eyes, he'll leave me be. Leon screams beside me, but it is not from physical pain, not this time. He has been rid of his blindfold and is struggling valiantly. "Stay away from him! Stay away! Get your filthy hands away from him!"

I reel back from the fiery cold touch, hitting my head against the stone with a crack, but ignoring the pain. The only thought rolling through my mind is the need to escape. "Please, don't do this! Please! Please!" The tears come, but I refuse to open my eyes.

"Open them! Let me see those eyes!" He hisses, grabbing my chin in his fingers. "Do you want Leon punished for your rebellion?"

Unable to help it, I whimper. I can hear Leon scrambling beside me and it tears at my heart. "Ignore him, Cloud. C'mon, don't give in. I can handle whatever he dishes out!"

"L-Leon ... Leon ... It's ... okay. I-I ... I can be strong ... too."

"Oh how the mighty crumble!" Xemnas' fingers trail over my chin and I cringe away from the touch. A knife slices the cut in my chest deeper. I refuse to show the pain I feel, but crumble farther. His fingers dance over my chin once more but I do not move. I receive another slash.

"Wh-What was that for? I-I didn't cower away." I try so hard to keep the whimper from my voice.

"At least pretend you enjoy it."

I shake my head, the tears coming down my cheeks. "That'd be taking it a bit far."

"I thrive in pushing limits."

"You've met mine and I'm not budging."

"Even after your precious Leon is thrown into danger?"

Attempting to compose myself, I take in a few shallow breaths. "Open your eyes, Cloud. Just open them."

His touch defiles my cheek, fingertips running up to my eyes. I clamp them tighter before a slight moan of pain from Leon forces them open. "There, happy? You see my eyes, now let us go."

"Hmm. Not yet. I'll let you be in a few minutes. First, you must do me a grand service."

I feel the contents of my stomach churn unhappily at the prospect of those simple words. I shudder, closing my eyes once more. I don't want to see anything anymore. I just want to go back to sleep. "Unlock his hands. Leave his feet attached."

The ground rushes up to meet me and I collide painfully, causing Leon to call out at my groan. A chair is brought in through the door and I feel a boot kicking at my ribs. "Pleasure me. I want to see if you are the whore your mother was."

A snarl rips at my throat but I refuse to move, not even cringing when that boot strikes harder. My breaking point is still the small noise that Leon can't help but let out. "C-Cloud ...." the brunette tries, pulling at his chains to no avail. "Cloud…"

"I-Ignore it, Leon. Please. You can't remember me like this. Don't watch. It hurts enough already."

With trembling fingers and clamped eyes, I kneel, beginning to unzipper the grey-haired murderer's black leather jacket. He grabs each of my wrists with vice-like fingers. My eyes drift open and he releases me to finish. "Keep your eyes on me, whore. That's the whole reason you're doing this."

I can't believe what I'm doing. My hands flirt over his skin and my tongue makes him moan while I try my hardest not to puke. I gag when he reaches to force my face down in between his legs. "N-No more. Please ... no more." His fingers weave through my blonde spikes and shoves my mouth down around him. Panic filling my chest, I struggle, unable to breathe. He pulls me back and I gasp in much needed oxygen before I am being shoved down once more.

"Mmm, could do better, I suppose."

"Let him breathe and he would!"

Xemnas smirks. "And you know this from experience, of course, Leon?"

The brunette blushes, glaring at the floor in the opposite direction. "Ah well, I'm growing tired of this. Down, boy." My back collides with the wall as he shoves me back. I whimper slightly when he grabs onto my shoulders.

"Get your hands off him! Get off! He's mine, God damn it! Get the hell away from him! Cloud!"

I cry out, struggling when I feel his fingers pulling the last remaining fabric away."No! Please!"

-

To Be Continued

-

Tell me what you thought, yes? One more chapter and then it is the epilogue. Hope you enjoy!

Tell me that you will listen. Your touch is what I'm missing. And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losing you - _Comatose_

_Skillet _

Scream Your heart out, Scream Your heart out, Scream Your heart out - Rooftops

The Lost Prophets

~xbuttonsx~


	14. Rooftops

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

Last chapter of plot. Next is just what happens to Cloud and Leon while imprisoned. I'll warn you now, so that you don't feel the need to yell at me later, people are dying in this chapter. Lots of people. It is a war, remember.

**Chapter 14 - Rooftops **

-

Roxas shook, his world trembled and everything around him crumbled. It felt like another bomb had dropped, but there was no customary roar of the inferno. No. Just Axel, head bowed, shaking and shivering as though he had been dropped into an ice pool. He had his arms wrapped around his shoulders and he looked like he was going to be sick.

"Why, Axel? Why? What did I do? What _didn't _I do? Did you do this because I left? Is that it? Why do I get punished for something I had no control over?!"

He was a broken record, but he could help it not. He had to know! He needed to know more then he needed to breathe! Axel finally let his emerald orbs that once held love and longing wander up to meet striking cerulean. Another shockwave flooded the younger teen. A moment of silence between the two besides for the furious huffs from the blonde passed and it seemed that time itself stood still. Not a bird chirped - or screamed - outside Roxas' open window. Sora, his baby brother, hadn't even started crying downstairs. Nothing moved but he and the betraying redhead.

Silence frustrated Roxas further. He felt the growl tear through his throat as he sprang from his mattress. About to strike what had used to be his life, the flaming blonde halted his fist. "Answer me, God damn it all, Axel! Stop being such a jerk! I deserve an explanation!"

Axel found his voice.

"There isn't much to explain, Roxas. I slept with Dem. I was drunk. I didn't have a say in the matter!"

"What the hell, Axel?" Roxas let his fist slam into the wall, away from Axel. "Think about what you just _said_!"

"You think I haven't? Rox, it was a mistake, we were drunk, you were in a different world all together! Jeez, if I knew you would react like this, I wouldn't have told you."

"Out."

"What?"

"Get. Out. Of. My. House."

"Rox-"

"_Out!_"

He was sure his shout had awoken his brother and his mother would be up soon enough to yell at him. But the blonde didn't care. His whole body was shaking. All he wanted to do was scream, to break something, to hurt someone. Fist still balled, the smaller boy advanced on Axel who was still placed firmly on the bed.

"Rox, come on!"

"Axel, please. Did you really think ... no, obviously you are too dense to put a thought through that thick skull of yours besides for getting into someone's pants!"

"That's not true!"

"Prove it."

"Rox ..."

"Try to put yourself in my position, would you? Demyx is my friend, you are my boyfriend. What would you say if I decided to go behind your back and slept with ... I dunno, Zexion?!"

"Then it would be different."

Roxas hissed. "How?"

"I… I hate Zexion."

Roxas threw his head back and stomped to the door to his bedroom, leading to the hall. Flinging it open, he leaned against the frame, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor. Axel just stared, perplexed, in complete awe that his boyfriend was kicking him out.

"Roxas, honey, everything okay up there?"

"Just peachy, Mom. Now, out, Axel. I've had enough of your bullshit today."

"Rox, please. It was a mistake. It won't happen again. I promise."

The redhead had tears coming from his emerald orbs. "You sure as hell are right about that. It won't happen again because I'm not just going to let you hang around after you _cheated_ on me, Axel. You had sex with someone other than me!"

Axel was going to be sick again, even though there was nothing in his stomach left after four days of sticking close to the toilet. "R-Rox. Please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. _Please_, don't do this! I have nowhere to go!"

"Go live with Demyx. I'm sure he would just _love_ your company."

A moment's silence echoed through the room and Roxas curled and uncurled his fingers into fists, trying to keep the tremble out of his voice. Finally, he forced a whisper. "Just go, Axel. Let me think about it for a little bit."

"Oh, Rox, thank you. I promise I didn't mean to do what I did with Demyx. And ... he hates me now."

"That makes two of us."

"Y-You ... Rox!" Axel's eyes went wide as he comprehended what the younger teen had just said. The wind seeming to have been knocked from his chest, the lanky redhead collapsed to the floor, gripping his stomach and rocking so his nose was almost touching the floor. "Rox, no! .... No! ... I love you. God damn it, I love you so much. Please ... You can't hate me! Be mad at me, beat me, break some bones.... just don't hate me!"

"Just get away from me, Axel. You have no right to spout those _lies_. You don't screw someone that is not the one you love."

"Rox-as. No. Please. I've lost... so much. Please, don't make me lose you too!"

"Get out, Axel."

The blonde left the snivelling redhead where he was, sauntering down to the kitchen to pretend to get something to eat, heading back up five minutes later. Axel was gone.

--

_A Letter From Cloud_

--

_Momma. Guess what! I came home today. And you'll never guess who I saw. I saw you, momma. You and Roxas. But you didn't see me, did you? No, I bet you didn't. Then again, you wouldn't know me from anyone else, would you? Do I look that much like all the clones? Leon came with me, too. I came back to our house. It looks a lot different now, doesn't it? There's Roxas up there. What's he doing? Screaming? Why is he screaming, Momma? Another scream rings in my ears. Whose is it?_

_Mine? Ridiculous. Why would I cry? Flames, all around. But, I see no reason as to why I would scream. It isn't me screaming. I can't scream. Everything is too hazy to scream, Momma. Leon. I bet it is Leon screaming. He's a loud screamer. Especially when he screams for me. Those are my favourite screams._

_It's too warm. Momma, will you turn the heat off? It hurts. Still hazy. But, it is all starting to look black. Why black, momma? I've seen a lot, but not black like this. Momma, why do I smell smoke? Smoke. Flames. Makes sense, if you put it that way. Well, then, why are there flames? Roxas. That's why he is screaming. Everything is crashing down now, isn't it, Momma. I think ... I'll see you soon._

--

**A Deceitful Scream from Axel**

--

I don't know how it is even possible to move at this point. Must be those last few shreds of willpower you get when you know that it is hopeless. I flee from the room that I had been living in for the past weeks and run. I'm not one for running, but now that my whole reason for living has been snuffed out, why not run? Maybe that pain will be able to rid me of the burn in my chest.

So, I run.

Right into North Twilight. The clock tower still stands proudly, the tallest object in our fair city. I don't understand why my feet take me here, but they do. I'm shaking, probably about ready to fall again. I can't do this anymore. I slow to a jog, my breath coming in short, painful gasps as still the tears roll down my cheeks, being lost behind me.

"Rox-as!" I cry out, slamming my fist into the nearby ally wall. "Rox-as, why do you hate me? Why? I'm sorry! I'm so fuckin' sorry!"

My feet are barely moving by the time I make it to the ledge in front of the giant ticking hands of the clock. You can see everything from where I stand. The rubble, the destruction, the chaos, my old house - or at least where it used to stand. More sobs rack through my body and I sit, my long legs draping over the edge. The sun is already falling in the sky, not quite at the horizon but perhaps an hour away from disappearing.

I hurt him, so, he hurt me back. He hates me, so there is no hope. What point is there in living when everything has been stripped from you? My parents when I was younger, my brother, my house, everything I owned but the clothes on my back. Now Roxas. I've lost my guiding light, the only thing that has kept me going.

At least ... Roxas didn't see. Roxas didn't see me at my weakest. He heard me, but, he didn't see. But, the images were probably more gruesome in his mind. My little blonde. More sobs. I feel like a giant python has wrapped in itself around my chest and is slowly squeezing the life out of me and no one can break it loose. No one.

"Roxas."

--

"I'm going out, mom."

"Where'd Axel go? I wanted to say hello to him."

Roxas cringed inwardly at his mom's simple question. "He's gone. He's _not_ coming back."

The blonde woman gazed at her son with large, blue eyes. "What? Is he okay? Did you two get in a fight?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, Mom. I'll be back soon."

"Okay, Roxas. Just take care of yourself, honey."

"Yes, Mom."

The door swung open to be slammed shut behind the teen.

He didn't know where he was going. Just that he needed to get away from his soiled memories. Everything in his house reminded him of his betraying friends. Everything. He couldn't move without seeing a fragment of Axel, a melody from Demyx, a page from Zexion. His whole body ached in his own house.

"God damn Axel."

Something clicked in his mind when he kicked at a rock. He knew where he was. And he felt a something beside him. "Cloud. Hi." The bird squawked, flapping happily by his side.

_What, no hi for me?_

The blonde spun in a circle, capturing red hair in his line of vision? "A-Axel?"

_Idiot. No. Try again._

"Reno."

_Yeah, kid. It's me. Miss me?_

"I guess."

_What do ya' mean, you guess?!_

Roxas laughed, ignoring the fact that his mind must have broken from all the stress. All the chaos of his life had finally caught up with him and he snapped. The redheaded phantom trailed along beside him, a pout etched on his semi-transparent lips. He was just a memory, a hallucination. Roxas had lost his mind. After all that he had lost, his mind decided to follow suit and leave him stranded.

"I mean, I guess I miss you, even though you don't shut up."

_Oh, Roxy, you are too hard on me. You wouldn't shut up either if you died in such an epic way!_

The blonde rolled his eyes, moving through the broken rubble that still littered the streets.

_Where are you going, anyways, Rox?_

"To see my dad."

_But you don't have the time!_

"What?"

_You don't have the time, Rox! You have to go home. You have to go get your mom and Sora out of here._

"Re, what are you talking about?"

Reno ran a pasty hand through his hair. _You have to go. Please, Rox. It's almost sundown._

"What happens at sundown?"

_Go apologize to Axel. He's really sorry. And in danger._

_"_Reno! Give me answers! What's going on?!" Roxas couldn't help the panic rising in his throat.

_Just do what I tell you to do._

"Why? I'm not going to talk to Axel. He's a prick. He hurt me. I'm not giving him his way this time!"

The redhead stopped, causing Roxas to stop beside him. _Why did you agree to go out with him, Roxas?_

"Because I ... loved him."

_How long did it take you to find out?_

"A few days. Why?"

_Don't you think that's a little quick? You can't just realize you love someone. Not so quickly anyway._

"What are you saying?"

_Gah, Rox, you're an idiot. Your relationship with my brother was bound to fail because you rushed in too quickly. Pretend it never happened and just be friends with him again. He needs that right now. He's in danger. You're all in danger._

"Tell me something, Re." The blonde's mind was racing, pounding with his heart that seemed to have migrated to his throat. Bound to fail? Was it really? Danger? What was going on? "You're just a figment of my imagination, aren't you? Just me dreaming or something. I'm still back with my aunt and this is all just some big, bad nightmare."

_No, Rox. This is real. You _have_ to go. Now. Please! _

The blonde sighed. "Where to first?"

_Go get your brother. Then go get mine._

Cloud croaked in support. Roxas jumped, completely forgetting that the bird was there. "Fine, I'll go."

--

**A Deceitful Scream from Axel**

--

The sun is halfway beyond the horizon. I can take no more. Tears still find their way down my cheeks, sobs still rock my body, my heart still aches. "Roxas. Roxas, I love you more than anything. Because of that, I'll ... make sure you never have to be hurt by me again. I'll make sure that you don't have to suffer."

Slowly, calmly, crying stopped at the finality of it all, I saunter to my feet at the top of the clock tower. The roar of an airplane drones from behind the structure and I turn to look at the ringing sound. Oh, how I remember that sound. I begin to scream, knowing full well what was going to happen. That noise had taken so much away from me and now it was coming back to finish its job.

I yell at the pilot of the plane, screaming at him to force him to turn back but I know that he would never heed my words. I am nothing more than a crimson speck to him. If he were even to glance down upon me. But I know he wouldn't do such a thing. He would be forced to know that he was truly destroying if he looked down at his targets. Perhaps that was what he lived for, though? Maybe he had a special camera on his bombs that showed him his victims faces as they died.

Would he see mine? Would he watch me as he begins his attack, directly overhead? Would he hear my screams? Would he see my body burning in the infurno? Would he watch as a cursed soul drifted out of a cursed body?

--

"Mom, we need to leave, now."

The teen flung himself through the front door, clambering through his kitchen to find his sleeping mother on the couch. "Mom! Mom, c'mon! We've got to go! Mom! Mom?"

Her breathing had stopped. "Mom?!"

_It's useless, _the disembodied voice hissed. This wasn't Reno. Not this time. This was reality setting in. _She's had a heart attack. You left her and she had a heart attack. All your fault, Roxas. All your fault. The stress was too much on her. Maybe it was a blood clot? A delayed complication with the birth? Who knows? The only known fact is that she is _dead_._

"What?! No! Mom! C'mon!"

Sora began to wail at his brother's screeching, hysteric voice. _Leave her. Take your brother and leave her. You still have time_.

"_No! I will not leave my mother!_"

_She's dead, Rox. _Reno. _There's nothing you can do. Just run. Take Sora and run._

The blonde grabbed his screaming brother, cradling him in his arms. A squawk echoed from outside. Then Roxas remembered his memento. The feather, still lying up in his suitcase. Tearing off, the blonde stumbled up the stairs to angry protests of the voices in his mind, his imagination, his logic.

"The feather! I have to go get the feather!"

He ripped through his suitcase with one hand, propping the baby onto his shoulder with the other. The memento gripped securely in his fingers, the blonde ran from the door, out on the roof. The one thing that caught his vision was the bright, orange sphere, half-hidden in the horizon. Silence echoed over the town, an eerie silence they save for the most suspenseful parts in a horror movie. Then, a crash, a rumble and the roar of destruction deafened him. He fell onto his backside, crying out in pain as North Twilight was enveloped in the destruction.

Cloud was at his elbow, almost pecking at his fingers. "What are you doing?! Get away from me! Get away!" The raven pecked more urgently, stealing glances up at the oncoming demons in the sky. Roxas was forced to release Sora, holding the newborn in his lap, stuck between his legs. The giant shimmering bird forced him farther down, jumping onto his stomach. "What are you doing?! Are you trying to take my brother?"

No answer but the black beak nudging at Sora who was still screaming at the noise and vibrations.

"Cloud, take him! Take him somewhere safe! Make sure he doesn't die!"

Roxas finally understood. This bird ... it hadn't been sent to save him. No, it had been ordered to save his baby brother. He didn't understand why or how, but he just _knew_ deep down that that was its sole purpose in his story. The raven cried out in warning, those monsters floating closer.

"Live, Sora. Please, live for me."

Tears flooded Roxas' face once more as his brother was gripped tenderly in those fearsome talons. Wide, blue eyes gaped at him, a calm sense of security overcoming the baby. "Live."

Cloud forced his way into the air, passing by the monsters in the sky. Said monsters, seemingly taking a cue from the bird, began their attack. Bombs shook the earth. Roxas was screaming. The fire ripped all around him.

"Axel! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I love you too! Axel! Please, don't let this be happening!"

The devastation devoured him.

-

To Be Continued

-

Yes, Roxas went insane. And yes, he gave a baby to a bird. Again, yes, Cleon die. Yes, Sora gets away. One last yes, Sora is in the epilogue. Tell me what you thought, okay? See you in the last chapter.

Scream your. Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out. Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


	15. Eulogy

**Scream Until Your Heart Stops**

Well, her she is. The last chapter. I'll warn you now, there is pedophlia and sugested rape.

**Chapter 15 - Eulogy **

--

Second Day of Imprisonment

--

I cringe in his embrace, causing him to wake from his restless slumber. Feeling him move beside me makes a shudder run through my aching body. "Cloud ... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

A moan. "What do you have to be sorry about?"

"I got you into this mess. They wouldn't have known it was you if it hadn't been for me."

I just roll my eyes, pressing my face farther into the crook of his neck, attempting to fall into the dark oblivion of sleep so I don't have to feel _his_ hands all over me, forcing my gaze upon him. But I had just woken myself. And was shocked to still find my hands free and that Leon was by my side, cradling me close.

"I couldn't save you. I'm horrible. I deserve to be shot."

"No," I growl dangerously, balling the fist that lay against his chest. "No. You did your best. You saved me. Prepared me. Imagine what it would have been like ... had you not ... done what you did in the clearing. For the past week. As long as we've been together. And as long as we'll _be_ together."

"I still failed."

I grumble, pulling from his grasp, moving back far enough so that I could face him. He doesn't look at me. "Leon." Even his name does nothing more than make him cringe. "Leon, please, look at me. Please."

"I-I ... I can't. Please, Cloud, I can't."

"So, I'm just damaged merchandise to you now? That's it? You love me so much, but the second I get ... have his filth ... on me, you desert me?"

He gazes at me and I can finally see the tears brimming from his eyes. He's shaking, trembling. I go to squat in front of him, but yelp from the pain that shoots all over, settling instead for kneeling a small distance away, far enough so that he can't touch me. A small whine is let out from between his lips. "C-Cloud." The brunette reaches a hand out to me.

"No, I'm not good enough for you. I've lost my allure."

The tears start coming from his blue, blue eyes but I remain stony-faced, despite the severe urge I have to go over and be cradled by his strong arms. Keeping the tremble from my voice, I glare at him. "Maybe that's better, then. Maybe, if you don't love me, you can stop protecting me," _Even though that is _not_ what I want,_ I finish in my mind. "And you can go live. Live a nice life. Where you don't have to worry about keeping me safe."

Leon is silent, the portrait of defeat, his fists balling in his lap. I move as far away from him as possible, reaching the end of my chain before I'm satisfied. Is this it? Is this the extent of our relationship? Our friendship? Will he abandon me to be tormented and raped and what ever other cruel tortures Xemnas has planned? I clamp my eyes shut at the prospect, laying out, pressing my bare back against the refreshingly cool stone.

"Cloud." His voice is broken. A croak more than an actual word. But I hear it. I hear him. And the anguish of it almost sends me scampering back to him. I refuse, digging my face into my crossed arms in a vague attempt to go to sleep. "Cloud, I ... I won't leave you. I can't. .... Cloud, I-I ... I really do still love you."

"Well you shouldn't!" I snap back, allowing the tears to finally spring forth. "You can't. It hurts too much."

"Which does? The emotional pain or the physical?"

"Both."

A moment's silence of just our staggered breathing before he moves, inching closer to me. I groan, his restraints being just a little bit longer than mine and so he moves over to lay beside me. He doesn't touch me, afraid that I may bite his hand if he tried as though I were an injured, frightened dog.

"Cloud, I'm not just going to let you get tortured here. I'm not gonna lose you. I've lost everything I hold dear. I'm not losing you too."

I break.

Crawling into his awaiting arms, I shove my nose into his collar bone. "I can't do this, Leon. I can't do this without you. I'm sorry."

He places a soft kiss on my temple. "We'll pull through. We'll do it together."

--

Sixth Day of Imprisonment

--

"Get up, Leon. We have important work for you."

The brunette shudders, but obeys, knowing it would be I that would be punished for his rebellion. He allows himself to be pushed out of the dimly lit room by the guard, glancing back long enough to shoot me a reassuring smile. I feel my world shattering around me. If he leaves ... I'll be alone. I'll be defenseless. I'll get hurt.

"Don't go!" I cry, reaching out for him, but freeze when he is slammed in the back by a man's fist. "L-Leon," I whimper. "Come back. Save me." I cower into the wall, trying to press back farther to no avail. "Xemnas," I manage, writhing under his perverted gaze as he blurs the fading image of my love farther. Those golden eyes of my nightmares seem to ripple over my bare chest and onto my covered hips. "St-Stay away from me, please!"

"Why would I do something as idiotic as that? You are ripe for the taking without any distractions around. Seems almost too perfect."

I shake my head, trying my hardest not to clamp my eyes shut right there. I'm weak, limp and starving. One meal, just large enough to get us through the night, two trips to the bathroom. I shudder as he runs a hand over my cheek. It's no use. I can't win. Why even bother? I am so weak I can't even begin to fight him off as he forces me to lay on the ground.

I pass out with Leon's name on my lips.

--

Eighteenth Day of Imprisonment

--

How many times? How many times has that monster been in here, defiling me, destroying me? Leon hasn't been back since they took him away from me. I've stopped eating. I just want to die. A low moan escapes my throat as a bright light shifts into the room as the door is opened. Someone is tossed to the ground a few feet from me. I can't even tell who it is. I just roll my head back to gaze at the ceiling once more.

"Cloud? Are you still in here? Cloud?"

That voice. It ... stirs something in my memory and a small roll of heat billows in my stomach. I know that voice. The owner shuffles over to where I lay, semi-conscious. He places his hands on each of my cheeks, testing to make sure I am who he once knew me to be. "Oh Cloud! Cloud, you're here," he gasps out, pressing his lips to my own. I don't respond to the touch. "Cloud...." The voice is a sob.

Why does that sound evoke such a strong sense of sorrow through my body? Strands of brunette fall against my skin. The brown of a past life. I don't know who that voice belongs to anymore.

"Cloud, c'mon, babe. Look at me. Please, look at me!"

My eyes obey out of instinct. Disobedience means Leon gets killed. I don't know who Leon is anymore, but I know that I have to be strong for him. "Cloud ... You do know who I am, don't you?"

I slowly move my head from left to right. "I-" I falter, my voice sounding too foreign in the world that had been quiet for so long. So I don't speak anymore.

"I-It's me. ... It's me, Leon. You don't remember me?"

I take in a sharp breath at the name. "L-Leon?" The name sends shivers through my body. I try it again. "L-Leon." The name clicks things into place. "Leon." Lazy, deprived neurons flicker, connecting the name to a person. "Leon." A face. His face. Now marred with a scar across the bridge of his nose. Tears float to the corners of my eyes. "You ... came back for me..."

"I did. I said that I would and I did. You're okay, Cloud. I'm here. I've got you. I'm back. I promise I won't ever leave you again."

"Wh-What about ... Xemnas?"

"I won't ever leave you again," he repeats, wrapping his arms around me. I don't even feel the defilement from the grey-haired man when my brunette holds me. He is gentle, caring, nurturing. His lips are on mine once more and this time I don't hesitate, moving my own as best as I can in my circumstance. I feel something burning in the pit of my stomach.

--

Twenty-Seventh Day of Imprisonment

--

"A friend is here to see you, Cloud. I do believe his name is _Roxas_."

I stiffen, my breath hitching in my throat. R-Roxas? But, what would my little brother be doing here? Did they capture him? Will he be raped too? Has he been already? I feel my nearly empty stomach churn. "No! No! Roxas! What did you do to him?!"

A laugh from behind the guard and Xemnas pushes his way past him, a large, black raven perched calmly on his shoulder. That bird .... Roxas. We named it .... Roxas. "That f-fuckin' bird."

"Ooh, you're quick, Cloud. Yes, this _bird_ is my pet."

"Mister Raven!" Leon gasps. "You betrayed us! I gave you a piece of corn!"

Roxas spreads his wings, croaking happily before leaping from his master's shoulder to hop up to me. "You god damned bird. Get away from me." I half-heartedly bat the glittering creature away. He croaks sadly, a sort of raven-whine. I clamp my eyes shut at his protest, not allowing myself to watch as he hops towards Leon who greets him with the same stony glare.

"So, you knew we were there. You knew it was us. You've been keeping tabs on us!"

"Very good, Leon. And, also on the true Roxas as well."

I perk. "What? Is he okay? He hasn't been killed yet, has he?"

"No, no. He is fine. He is away at his aunt's right now. I feel bad for the kid. Larxene still sends chills down my spine, even after all these years."

--

Thirty-Fourth Day of Imprisonment

--

I'm far weaker now than I would ever have imagined. I can't even move when the door opens and the shaft of bright light burns my eyes. Leon moans. My mind yells at my body to move, to see what is wrong with him, but nothing even attempts to try. A guard grabs Leon who moans again, being shoved up against the wall, being chained up like at the beginning of the imprisonment. I try to protest, but it only comes out as a strange, strangled moan.

Even my brunette can do no more than whimper sadly as Xemnas comes in through the door. The pain is dull now. I barely feel him moving on top of me. I'm so numb to the world.

I don't even realize myself slipping into unconsciousness.

--

Thirty-Eighth Day of Imprisonment

--

"You are free to go."

I gape at the grey-haired monster who towers over me. "F-Free?" I have already felt the strength returning after four solid days of regular meals.

"Yes, Cloud, free. I shall have no use for you any longer."

"Wh-What? Why not?"

"You're a big brother again."

My heart pounds in my chest and a lump forms in my throat. "N-No. No! No, you sick monster! No!"

"Oh, Cloud, don't jump to conclusions. Who said that I am not just simply relaying the good news about your baby brother?"

I tear at my chains, aching to hurt the man that has been ruining everything for me. I only suceed in receiving a fist to the stomach. Breath faltering, I fall limp in my newly reinforced restraints. "Now, that is the Cloud I love to see. So feisty." His breath runs along my cheek and I strike out, biting his lower lip painfully, causing him to slam his fist into my gut once more to force me to release his lip.

"Feisty enough for you, prick?" I spit, causing a smirk to spread across the man's face.

"Mm, a bit more would be just perfect. Maybe I can entice that from your brother." The long-extinguished inferno of rebellion springs to life and I try so desperately to rid myself of my restraints so that my fingers could wrap around the man's neck. Said man backs away slowly, that grin still plastered onto his lips. "Alright. Take them away now." Two guards file into the room, one heading over to Leon and the other making it straight for me. I struggle to get away from the cloth that is pressed against my nose and lips, but find myself tossed back into the dark oblivion of chloroform.

--

"Where the _hell_ have you two been? I allow you to go out for a few days and you return a month later looking as though you've been run through a food processor."

I smile. "At least I'm alive, sir."

"Too bad you've been replaced. Go home, Cloud. You are no longer fit to fight this war."

Beginning to protest, I close my mouth when Leongrips my hand. "It'll be okay. I'll go with you. I really meant what I said. About never leaving you again. I promise."

--

_Standing on the rooftops _

_Waiting till the bomb drops_

_This is all we've got now_

_Scream until your heart stops _

_Never gonna regret _

_Watching every sunset_

_Listen to your heartbeat _

_All the love that we found_

--

**A Song From Sora**

--

I smile happily, warmth spreading throughout my body from the setting sun. I'm laying out on top of the entryway to the house, the shingles warming my back. "Sora, supper!"

"I'll be down in a minute," I answer, putting a hand through my chocolaty spikes, my vibrant blue orbs shimmering undoubtedly in the orange fire-glow. Enraptured by the sight, I don't hear my adoptive 'father' join me.

"It really is beautiful, isn't it?"

I yelp, jumping before settling back down, beaming up at him. His golden orbs are closed in his gentle smile. Even after all that he has done - to me, to my family - I can't hate him. In a way, he's saved me. I would have ended up just as my brothers had. "Xemnas," I whisper, not wanting to ruin the beauty of the sunset. "Tell me again about what happened to my family?"

With a sigh, he looms over me, placing a soft kiss on my lips which I have grown to except but shudder in mild disgust all the same. He has his reasons for his affections and I don't dare disobay, knowing that things could be far worse than the occasional show. He knows that I'm uncomfotrable but it could always be so much worse. Laying back beside me, he gazes at the clouds floating lazily overhead, blocking out the thought of stars for the night. I roll my eyes onto his sprawled frame when he sighs once more. "You're sixteen now, Sora. Must I still go over it?"

"It helps me accept the position I'm in," I answer happily, placing my customary big smile on my features to reassure him for another night that I don't plan on running off on him, even though I promised my best friend that I would try to see him.

"I really am a lucky man. You are unlike anyone I've ever known."

"And you love me for it."

I feel my insides squirm when he moves over me once more. I don't want him to but it doesn't stop him. "I don't want to, Sora. This is nothing like I had planned." He shook his head softly, bending down to place another kiss on my lips. "This is nothing like I planned. You were going to be ... just like your brother. Just like Cloud. But ... I didn't love Cloud."

"You took him for his eyes. But, I have those eyes too, don't I? So, tell me why I got to ... live 'free'."

"The circumstances changed and I had to flee. _We_ had to flee. You were barely a week old. I guess ... because of that ... I could never really hurt you the way I did Cloud. I raised you ... but I can't help these feelings. I still love you."

I smile softly, sadly. "I love you too, Xemnas, but not the same way. You're like a dad to me. I'm sorry."

He backs off me, leaving a lingering trail of fire down my cheek from his touch. "No, Sora, I'm sorry. I've ... not been the best person in the world."

"Who expects you to be the best?"

"I-"

"It's okay. C'mon, supper must be getting cold by now, right?"

I jump to my feet and move to the large window to crawl back into my room. I feel his eyes watching me, but choose to ignore it as I have learned to do over the years. I hop down the stairs to the kitchen, singing haphazardly and off key, although it was highly intended, mocking the song. "Never wanted to dance with nobody but you wouldn't take no for an answer you fuckin' bitch!"

"Sora, language."

I blush, beaming. "Sorry! It was stuck in my head!"

-

The End

-

Thank you to all of those that have reviewed, faved or alerted. Means a lot to me. Glad you stuck with me so long. Have a cookie. :D

Burn burn for us, for them, for you. Burn burn the truth, enjoy the flames. - _Burn Burn_

_The Lost Prophets_

Standing on the rooftops, everybody scream your heart out, this is all we've got now, everybody scream your - _Rooftops_

_The Lost Prophets_

~xbuttonsx~


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